UWA FURY(1/22/89)
Jan 21, 2023 3:05:35 GMT
Post by Grigs2.0 on Jan 21, 2023 3:05:35 GMT
“UWA FURY”
Taped January 3, 1989 at the Sportatorium in Dallas to air January 15, 1989 at 8 PM on TNT
Commentary: Lee Marshall & Magnum TA
Interviewer: Boni Blackstone
Ring Announcer: Mark Lowrance
VTR OPENING:
As the music plays, we see footage of Terry Funk and Big Van Vader making their entrances at CHRISTMAS CHAOS. We see Funk scoring the pin to win the World Title!The, we see the Moondogs in action! We see “Megabucks Michael Rotunda and Missy Hyatt making their entrance! Sgt. Slaughter waving Old Glory! Kevin Von Erich hitting a flying bodypress! Butch Reed hitting a shoulderblock off the top rope! Bad News Brown hitting a ghetto blaster! The Freebirds executing a Bamm Bamm Slam! We see Madusa Miceli throwing martial arts kicks at Michael Hayes! Chris Adams nailing a superkick!
MARSHALL: Welcome to UWA FURY! Magnum TA, it’s always great to be at the world famous Sportatorium in downtown Dallas, Texas!
MAGNUM: It’s always great to be in the Lone Star State! What better way to open up a wrestling show in Texas than the Funk Brorhers in action!
“THE LEGEND ‘ TERRY FUNK & DORY FUNK, JR. vs. ALEX PORTEAU & CHRIS COLT: Porteau & Colt are capable grapplers, but they get a wrestling lesson this week! Terry, the Undisputed World Champion pins Colt after a piledriver. Then, the brothers join Boni Blackstone in the interview area…
BONI: Before I speak with you gentlemen, Big Van Vader has sent a videotape and he asked that the World Champion be present when we played it!
TERRY: Fine! Roll it!
VTR:
Vader is standing in front a concrete wall with graffiti sprayed on it.
VADER: TERRY FUNK! You have something that belongs to me! As former champion, I am entitled to a rematch! I am claiming that rematch right here and now! I demand that my rematch happensd on pay per view where they can see it from Tulsa to Tokyo, from Maine to Spain! February 20th at WINTER WARFARE in Reunion Arena in your home state, Funk! I tell ya what the most satisfying match of my career was: When I beat Terry Gordy half to death in the Badstreet match! His kind of match! I know you Funks have a match you take pride in! I know you brag about hoiw your family invented the Texas Death Match! Funk, I want you in a Texas Death Match for my Undisputed World Title! The only way to win is to beat your opponent until he can’t fight back! Funk, it’s like your old man made this match just for me! There’s the challenge, Funk! DO you have the guts to accept it?
Back in the interview area, the Funks are all smiles! Terry is rubbing his hands together!
TERRY: Vader, you fool! You egg sucking polecat, go ahead and throw this old rabbit into that briar patch! Yeah, you outweigh me by 200 pounds! Yeah, you could probably bench press my pickup truck! Your arms are bigger than mine! Your chest is bigger than mine, but my heart is twice as big as yours! As far as brains, you brain rolls around in that ugly head of yours like a black eyed pea in a boxcar! No Funk has ever lost a Texas Death Match! Ask Ron Bass what it’s like! Ask the Briscoes! Ask Dusty Rhodes! Or Abdullah the Butcher! Or Harley Race! Or Dickie Murdoch! I know it’s a week afterwards, but this is like giving me a Valentine! Sort of like that movie, My Bloody Valentine!
DORY: Vader, you just made a big mistake, son! You’re an awesome competitor, no doubt about it, but nobody can beat my brother in our family’s specialty!
BONI: Your World Champion seems very confident!
MAGNUM: Wow! If you’re considering ordering WINTER WARFARE, that should seal the deal for you!
COMMERCIAL
VTR:
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We see the logo, see footage of troops marching, tanks rolling, fighter jets, flying, all intercut with wrestling action from the UWA as the music plays…
We cut to Mark Lowrance in a control room setting…
LOWRANCE: Welcome to the WINTER WARFARE Control Center. On February 20th, in my hometwown of Dallas at 8 PM, live on pay per view, WINTER WARFARE comes your way. I can now confirm these matches:
UWA WORLD TITLE MATCH(TEXAS DEATH RULES)
“THE LEGEND” TERRY FUNK © VS. BIG VAND VADER!
UWA WORLD TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH
THE MOONDOGS© VS. BADD COMPANY!
BATTLE FOR MEXICO!
MIL MASCARAS VS. PERRO AGUAYO!
LOWRANCE: Between now and then, we’ll announce even more great matches! Call your cable provider first thing in the morning! You don’t want to miss this!
RIP “THE CRIPPLER” OLIVER(W/SIR OLIVER HUMPERDINK & RIP’S CARRYOUT SERVICE) VS. SOUL TRAIN JONES: Rip has been sending all of his opponents for a stretcher ride after easy wins. Jones gives him all he wants this week! Oliver does manage to pull out a close win with an inside cradle(and a handfull of his opponent’s tights), but it looks like there won’t be a gurney ride tonight! Hold on a sec! The Crippler jumps Jones after the bout! Oliver ties Soul Train up in the ropes! Humperdink slides a chair into the ring! Oliver has the chair! The Carryout Service guys may gets some work after all! Oliver is ready to nail Jones with the chair…..
JIMMY VALIANT HITS THE RING! The Boogie Woogie Man takes the chair away from Oliver and bashes the Crippler, knocking Oliver to the hard concrete floor of the Sportatorium! Valiant gets Soul Train disengaged from the ropes, wmbraces him, and grabs the house mic!
VALIANT: Rip the Crippler! Oliver Humperdink! This man is my brother! Nobody roughshods over a brother of mine, Jackson Brown! Do you understand what the Boogie Man is sayin to ya, daddy?If you creeps try to pull a stunt like this again, I’ll bust your heads open and you will be carried outta here! That’s the gospel, daddy, and that’s a promise from the Boogie man!
MAGNUM: Rip Oliver had better watch his step!
COMMERCIAL
Dr. X stands waiting in the ring. Then, we hear this:
Here comes the Boogie Woogie Man, high fiving and smooching fans as he makes his way to the squared circle!
“BOOGIE WOOGIE MAN” JIMMY VALIANT VS. DR. X: Right off the back, Valiant turns the masked man’s mask backwards, effectively taking away his eyesight! It’s all downhill for the good doctor from there as Jimmy pounds him from pillar to post before dropping the big elbow and getting the easy 1-2-3!
MARSHALL: Your World Tag Team Champions are up next!
COMMERCIAL
THE MOONDOGS (W/SIR OLIVER HUMPERDINK) VS. MIKE JACKSON & HURRICANE CASTILLO, JR.: The tag champs face a very quick and athletic pair of opponents tonight. After a few minutes of Castillo holding his own against Spot and Rex, we get a video inset of the team who will challenge the Moondogs at WINTER WARFARE, BADD Company!
PAT TANAKA: I’ll admit that the Moondogs are big , bad, and nasty!But I believe that my partner and I are too quick and we have some moves they just aren’t ready for!
PAUL DIAMOND: That’s 100% right, partner! Oliver Humperdink, you bag of wind, polish those belts because they’re gonna beloeng to B-A-Double D, BADD Company!
The Dawgs weather the storm and get the win as Spot puts Jackson away after a side slam.
VTR: We see Tito Santana standing outside the Sportatorium. Ladies and gentlemen, tonight, I get my rematch for the American Title against “Megabucks” Michael Rotunda! Mike, I told you to prove that you are a real champion and a real man! Leave your interfering girlfriend in the locker room and give me a fair fight-one on one with no interference! We’ll see what kind of a champion you are later tonight here on TNT! Arriba!
VTR: Michael Rotunda and Missy Hyatt are soaking in a jacuzzi. They each are holding a glass of champagne.
ROTUNDA: Tito Santana and all of your redneck fans, this is how high class people live!
MISSY: Mmmmmmmmm, that’s right!
ROTUNDA: Tito, who do you think you are? What makes you think that you have the right to dictate to the American Heavyweight Champion how that I can conduct business? I’ll kick your pathetic butt tonight and I’ll defend my championship in front of the millions of wrestling fans watching on TNT! And if I want to add some class and style to the proceedings by bringing my sexy lady to ringside, that’s my privilege, do you understand me? (downs the glass of champagne) The sweet taste of success! So much better than that nasty tequila!
MISSY: That’s right, baby!
COMMERCIAL
VTR:
Cactus Jack stands in front of the UWA logo…
CACTUS: Hey, guys, ol’ Cactus Jack here! I have news! The doctors have cleared me to come back! That Vader did a number on your hero, but ya can’t keep a good man down! I showed up Christmas night to make sure that my buddy Terry Funk didn’t get ripped off and I’ll be back wrestling before too long! I wanna thank all of you who sent get well cards. It meant a lot to me! I’m looking forward to making my comeback! BANG! BANG!
MAGNUM: That’s great news! What are you doing here?
Downtown Bruno is at the announce table!
BRUNO: Magnum, you were a great wrestler a long time ago, but the sport has passed you by! Myt men are in the ring for the next match and I though Lee might want some expert commentary for once!
MAGNUM: Exactly what are you an expert about?
BRUNO: The sport of kings, TA, the sport of kings!
THE HOLLYWOOD HEARTBREAKERS & THE GREAT KOKINA VS. TODD CHAMPION, RIKKI NELSON, & SD JONES: John Tatum & Jack Victory team up with the massive Polynesian Kokina against two youngsters and a rugged veteran. Bruno’s pitiful attempts at color don’t last long as he scurries to his team’s corner as Champion & Jones really take it to the heels early on. Magnum really works hard putting Champion over as a rising star. The heels take over once the undersized Nelson tags in and Kokina pins him after a sitdown splash. Marshall informs us that next week, the Hollywood Heartbreakers will face the former World Tag Team Champions, the Texas Broncos! Magnum says that Dustin Rhodes & Kendall Windham should be fired up after the way they were cheated out of the belts!
COMMERCIAL
MARSHALL: Later tonight, we’ll see UWA World Junior Heavyweight Champion Chris Adams team up with Kevin Von Erich and the man Adams defeated for that title, Dean Malenko , against the Fabulous Freebirds. There are contenders for Adams’ championship all aorund the world. Right now, let’s take a look at a young man who comes from Japan, but who made a name for himself in Mexico. This is El Samurai!
VTR:
Music video featuring action highlights of El Samurai from Japan and Mexico. We see most of his high flying and high impact manuvers.
MAGNUM: El Samurai looks like somebody who Chris Adams had better be on the lookout for!
MARSHALL: I agree!
We cut to the ring. Sir Oliver Humperdink has a roll of bills in his hands and he’s pacing nervously. Big John Studd stands in a corner, calm and smiling. A table and two chairs are placed in center ring. Mark Lowrance and referee Tommy Gilbert are standing by…
LOWRANCE: We’re ready for an arm wrestling contest! Sir Oliver Humperdink, your man looks ready!
SOH: (holding up a roll of bills) Nord, we’re doing this out of the goodness of our hearts! You’re in breach of contract, boy! I bought your contract! You welched on the deal! Now, the strongest man in wrestling, John Studd is gonna put you down and humiliate you in public!
Yukon John Nord enters the ring! We are ready to go!
ARM WRESTLING FOR $5,000: YUKON JOHN NORD VS. BIG JOHN STUDD(W/SIR OLIVER HUMPERDINK: These two powerhouses lock up! At first, Studd gets an advantage, but Nord slowly makes a comeback! Humperdink looks panic stricken as Big John’s arm slowly is forced toward the table! It looks like Nord has him beat! Humperdink throws powder in the eyes of Yukon John Nord! Tommy Gilbert disqualifies Studd! Big John and SOH are beating the stew out of Nord! Rip Oliver runs in and joins in on the beatdown! Nord is taking a real pounding here this week! A chair flies into the ring! That was thrown by Jimmy Valiant! Valiant, Soul Train Jones, & Tito Santana hit the ring and the heels flee! Some medics enter the ring and try to wash out Yukon John’s eyes. What a wild situation!
COMMERCIAL
The Fabulous Freebirds, with UWA TV Champion Michael Hayes, enter the arena. The Dallas fans have learned to hate these guys all over again!
Their opponents get a hero’s welcome!
THE FABULOUS FREEBIRDS VS. KEVIN VON ERICH, GENTLEMAN CHRIS ADAMS, & DEAN MALENKO: The faces get off to a hot start, exciting the fans and frustrating the ‘birds! Eventually, the Badstreet gang isolate Malenko and get heat on the former World Junior Heavyweight Champ. After about five minutes of that, the match erupts into an all out brawl! Adams and Von Erich are kicking tail! Adams throws a superkick at Buddy Roberts, but Buddy Jack sidesteps and the kick hits Malenko right in the face! Dean goes down like he’s shot and Terry Gordy covers Malenko for the 1-2-3!
After the bout, Adams helps Malenko to his feet and appears to be apologizing profusely to his archrival! Malenko slaps the taste out of the Englishman’s mout! Kevin Von Erich is trying to place peacemaker, but Malenko ain’t having it! We have an unfortunate situation here in the Sportatorium! Finally, Von Erich and every referee available, seperate Adams and malenko!
We cut to the locker room area. Tito Santana is standing by…
TITO: Megabucks Michael Rotunda! Tonight, I get my rematch! Will you have the guts to leave your girlfriend in the dressing room? Will you fight me like a man? We’re about to find out! ARRIBA!
COMMERCIAL
Tito Santana is waiting in the ring. His opponent strolls casually down the aisle and, yes, Missy Hyatt is by his side!
AMERICAN TITLE MATCH: “MEGABUCKS” MICHAEL ROTUNDA© (W/MISSY HYATT) VS. TITO SANTANA: Tito really wants his title back and he wrestles an extremely aggressive style. Rotundo seems to be one step behind Tito the entire match! When the bout spills to the floor, Tito slams the champ’s head into the ring post, then rolls Rotunda back into the ring! Rotunda distracts referee Carl Fergie by complaining about Tito’s tactics. While the ref is distracted, Missy sneaks up behind Tito and nails him with her handbag! Santana goes down! What does she have in that crazy thing? Rotunda rolls Santana into the ring and covers him for the 1-2-3! Rotunda steals another one! Rotunda and Missy celebrate, then leave the arena with the title belt! Santana is irate! Tito tries to explain to Fergie what happened, but it’s too late! I have a feeling we’ve not seen the last of this!
NEXT WEEK!
JIMMY VALIANT VS. RIP OLIVER!!!
KEVIN VON ERICH VS. BUDDY ROBERTS!!!
TEXAS BRONCOS VS. HOLLYWOOD HEARTBREAKERS!!!
HACKSAW BUTCH REED VS. NIKOLAI VOLKOFF!!!
SGT. SLAUGHTER IN ACTION!
YUKON JOHN NORD IN A HANDICAP MATCH!
WE’LL ATTEMPT TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THE MALENKO/ADAMS SITUATION!
Working on it now.