XPW March 1996 - 3/3, 3/10, 3/15, 3/17, 3/29

[jackknight]

Commish said:

XTREME PRO WRESTLING presents:
EXTREME WARFARE
MARCH 3, 1996
(TAPED 2/26/1996)
OLYMPIC AUDITORIUM
LOS ANGELES, CA
AIRING ON: MTV
BROADCASTERS: JOEY STYLES & PAUL E. DANGEROUSLY
RING ANNOUNCER: BOB ARTESE
INTERVIEWER: MALIA HOSAKA

- PAUL E. DANGEROUSLY and JOEY STYLES are in the ring to open this edition of Extreme Warfare. Paul and Joey talk about Terry Funk stepping down from the Xtreme Pro Wrestling’s presidency in order to face Taz on March 17 on Extreme Warfare: Fight Night. The announcers then bring out Funk to announce his successor. Funk comes out and shakes hands with fans and then does the same with both Joey Styles and Paul E. Dangerously, who appears to be beaming. Terry gets on the microphone and mentions that his replacement is a man who is known to each and every wrestling fan – he’s run an ‘extreme’ promotion before and he is a man that can be trusted to rule fairly over XPW. Funk then goes to announce his replacement and Paul E. Dangerously is shown on camera smiling and straightening his tie… only for Terry to announce his replacement as his brother, former NWA Commissioner Dory Funk Jr.!

The camera catches Paul E. Dangerously’s face drop as Dory Funk Jr. makes his way down to ring wearing a black suit and a black Stetson hat. Dory shakes hands with Styles, his brother Terry and a stunned Paul E. Dangerously. Terry excuses himself as he hands Dory the microphone. Dory thanks the fans for welcoming him and he wants to make one thing crystal clear right away – his one agreement for agreeing to this position is that his brother never ask him for a single favor. Dory believes his brother will beat Taz on March 17, but he will remain unbiased and will not step up if something unfortunate happens to his brother. Dory also taps Paul E. Dangerously on the shoulder and says he is looking forward to working with him. Funk waves to the fans and leaves the ring as a befuddled Paul E. Dangerously and an as-always chipper Joey Styles make their way to the broadcast booth.



Singles Match:
‘The Sicilian Shooter’ Little Guido (w/ Big Vito) vs. Blitzkreg

This one is a rematch of sorts from last week, where The FBI got a victory Blitzkrieg, Billy Black and Joel Deaton. Both of these cruiserweights are looking to earn shots against World Light Heavyweight Champion Taka Michinoku and a win tonight will go along a way. Blitzkrieg stuns the fans in attendance early on with his incredible offensive arsenal.

The masked cruiserweight scores a series of near-falls and almost gets a pin with a flying leg drop, but Vito places Guido’s leg on the bottom rope. Blitzkrieg tries to inform Jerry Calhoun about what happened, but this allows Little Guido to get back up. Guido grabs Blitzkrieg and plants him with the hangman’s neckbeaker, before connecting with the Sicilian Slice. Guido covers to get the tainted win. Blitzkrieg is helped up after the match as he tries to explain to the referee that Big Vito interfered.

Winners: Little Guido

- Paul E. Dangerously is supposed to make two major announcements right now, but he tells Joey Styles that he’s not feeling well and he hands the document to Joey Styles for him to read. Joey hesitates, but moves and announces that right here next week, Extreme Heavyweight Champion Ron Simmons will put his gold on the line in the main event against ‘Prime Time’ Brian Lee! Joey then talks about the Extreme Rumble, which will be shown live on Extreme Warfare: Fight Night on MTV on March 17. Ten wrestlers will enter the ring one at a time with the weapon of their chose and the last man to survive over-the-top-rope elimination will face the Extreme Heavyweight Champion at Barely Legal ’96. Joey then announces the ten men who will be competing in the Extreme Rumble as we go to break:

EXTREME RUMBLE
Participants

BAM BAM BIGELOW
DAVE ‘FIT’ FINLAY
GARY ALBRIGHT
MIKEY WHIPWRECK
ONE MAN GANG
RAVEN
SABU
SANDMAN
SHANE DOUGLAS
& A MYSTERY ENTRANT

COMMERCIAL BREAK

- Shane Douglas and Francine join Malia Hosaka backstage before our next match. Malia asks how Shane will prepare for a match like the Extreme Rumble. Douglas boasts that this is a match made for him because he doesn’t have to abide by any rules. He will dump nine other people over the top rope and then walk right into Barely Legal ’96 to become the Extreme Heavyweight Champion. Shane stresses that he dislikes a cheap-shot artist like Brian Lee just as much as he dislikes Ron Simmons so he will enjoy kicking the hell out of either of them. Malia than asks about the warning that Bam Bam Bigelow gave him last week. Shane smiles and tells Malia that he and Bigelow are old friends – he knows that he and Bammer will be able to coexist just fine here in Xtreme Pro Wrestling.



Singles Match:
The Fighting Irishman Dave Finlay vs. Angry Amish Roadkill

Joey Styles notes that this is the first professional match for the Angry Amish Roadkill, who has been trained at XPW’s House of Hardcore. He has a tough assignment heres as he faces Fit Finlay, who is intent on proving that he’s the most hardcore wrestler in Xtreme Pro Wrestling. Roadkill shows tremendous heart as he takes Finlay’s punishment and continues to come back time and time again.

Dave 'Fit' Finlay is able to back drop Roadkill out to the ramp. The Fighting Irishman the charges down and screams ‘Sandman’ as he connects with a side Russian leg sweep on the ramp. He throws Roadkill back into the ring, goes up top and lands a top-rope double-stomp! Finlay covers and gets the three count. Roadkill comes up short in his debut, but he showed tremendous heart!

Winner: Dave Finlay

- We go to the bowels of the building, where Raven and his Nest are standing around. Stevie Richards is showing off his title belt, only for Raven to shove him aside. Raven then walks over to Brian Lee and tells the big man that he knows he will ‘do the right thing’ next week here on Extreme Warfare. Lee tells Raven that the desired result will happen when he gets Extreme Heavyweight Champion Ron Simmons in the ring on Extreme Warfare. It will be ‘Prime Time’ destruction, Lee promises. Raven then looks into the camera and tells Simmons that the finale of their feud has already been written – and it ends with the title belt back in the Nest. Quote the Raven… nevermore.



COMMERCIAL BREAK

- A distracted Paul E. Dangerously asks Joey Styles to promote the VTR coming up. Styles can’t seem to figure out what is going on with Paul, but he then announces that another major superstar is on his way to Xtreme Pro Wrestling. Making his debut at Extreme Warfare: Fight Night will be former IWGP Heavyweight Champion, former WWF Heavyweight Champion, former WCW Heavyweight Champion – THE MAN THEY CALL VADER:





Singles Match:
‘The Wrestling Machine’ Gary Albright vs. One Man Gang

Mikey Whipwreck comes down to ringside before the match to join Joey Styles and the noticeably distracted Paul E. Dangerously on commentary. Mikey tells Joey Styles that he is not afraid of facing the One Man Gang, no matter his size. Gang and Albright have conflicting styles so admittedly this match isn’t pretty, but at least its short. Gang manages to slam Albright to the canvas and signals for the 747, but he stops to taunt Mikey at ringside. Whipwreck stands up and tells him that he better pay attention to what’s going into the ring.

One Man Gang then turns around only to get a belly-to-belly suplex from Albright. Gary then locks in the STF and there is nothing for the One Man Gang to do, but tap out! Albright lumbers around ringside and eventually leaves after the match. One Man Gang is furious after the mach and he starts stalking Mikey Whipwreck, who knows to leave while the gettings good.

Winner: Gary Albright

- Terry Funk is standing backstage and he tells Malia Hosaka that now that smoke is cleared and he is free to do what he wants inside the ring, he wants to set a few things straight. Terry has heard Taz continually promise to use him as a stepping stone to get his match with Dan ‘The Beast’ Severn. Terry wants Taz to know one thing. Taz won’t be dealing with a Ric Flair, a Hulk Hogan or Randy Savage on March 17 at Extreme Warfare: Fight Night. Funk says he is and always has been a little off-kilter. He’s also always been someone who pushes things too far – that’s why he never stayed around in one promotion too long over the years.

When the bell rings, Funk is willing to do anything – ANYTHING – to have his hand raised. He doesn't care if he damn near has to kill himself to make that happen! Terry Funk talks about wrestling in 90 minute matches with Jack Brisco, all the way to coming close to blowing himself up in exploding bomb matches against Cactus Jack in Japan. That’s the man who is walking into Extreme Warfare to face Taz. Funk: “Taz, you have to ask yourself a question. If I beat the hell out of Jack Brisco and damn near blew up my best friend Cactus Jack in Japan, just what the hell do you think I’m capable of doing to someone I despise like YOU?” Malia throws us to break on that menacing note.



COMMERCIAL BREAK

- Missy Hyatt makes her way out to the stage and she is dressed in her dominatrix attire, but in a woman’s power suit. Hyatt tells the audience that her former team The Pitbulls failed her and so she has let them go. Missy says that they went soft because they gave a damn about the fans and got involved in silly feuds with people like Raven. Missy says the Pitbulls are gone now and she is currently representing a much more promising team. Hyatt reveals that she has been in Japan spending time with a very important wrestling executive and he has given her the contract to Lion’s Pride – the team comprised of Nobuhiko Taka and Hiroshi Hase.

Missy Hyatt says this a team that no North American team can compete with – and those team will find that out next week when Lion’s Pride have their first match on Lion’s Pride have their first match on TV. Missy tells the fans that she will no longer be looked at as a sex object. From now own, she will be respected and feared for her intellect. The fans in the Olympic chant a four-letter word at her as she leaves the ring.



Tag Team Match:
The Eliminators vs. The Hit Squad

Saturn gets on the microphone before the match and tells Missy Hyatt that she can bring on her team of Takada and Hase any time. They will face Total Elimination like every team has so far here in Xtreme Pro Wrestling. The Hit Squad give The Eliminators their toughest match yet, with Togo gaining a near fall on Kronus after coming off the top rope with a missile dropkick. Saturn eventually gets the tag in and drills Togo with a flap jack, before going up top and finishing him off with a diving elbow smash.

Winners: The Eliminators

- Extreme Heavyweight Champion Ron Simmons and ‘Hacksaw’ Butch Reed join Malia Hosaska backstage. Malia talks about Simmons’ title defense against Brian Lee next week in what will likely be a very tough match. Reed answers before Simmons and complains that his buddy Ron is now not only having to prepare to fight the winner of the Extreme Rumble, but now he gets one week notice about a title match against Brian Lee? Reed says this typical of how the black man gets treated when they reach the top – the powers that be are always trying to knock them back down.

Extreme Heavyweight Champion Ron Simmons brushes aside Butch Reed’s comments and tells Malia that he’s wanted a match with "that punk-ass bitch" Brian Lee for weeks so he’s more than happy to kick his ass on Extreme Warfare next week. Reed is shaking his head disapprovingly in the background as Simmons tells Lee to get ready to have his ass handed him live on MTV – just like his master Raven did at CyberSlam ’96!



COMMERCIAL BREAK

- Malia Hosaka is joined by the physically imposing Gary Albright, who proved his in fact ‘The Wrestling Machine’ earlier tonight. Albright speaks for the first time here in Xtreme Pro Wrestling as he tells Malia that he has beaten everyone that has been in front of him. He says there is only one thing on his mind – the International Heavyweight Champion. Albright warns champion Masa Chono and his upcoming challenger Jushin Liger. Whoever wins is going to have deal with The Wrestling Machine - whether they like it or not! Malia goes to ask another question, but Albright just walks away. Malia shrugs her shoulders as she sends us up to the ring for tonight’s main event.



Main Event:
Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Atsushi Onita

The Beast from the East squares off here against Onita, who is all on his own here due to his manager Gary Hart leaving Xtreme Pro Wrestling. Onita doesn’t need any back up, however, as he takes the fight to Bigelow. These two men brawl all over the ringside area, slamming into the guard rail and slamming each other on the stage. Shane Douglas and Francine come out onto the ramp late in the match to watch and cheer on Bigelow, who is able to finally pin Onita with a slingshot splash. Douglas and Francine enter the ring after the match to congratulate Bigelow, who shakes Shane’s hand but doesn’t break his stone-faced expression.

Winner: Bam Bam Bigelow

IT’S NOW TIME FOR THE ‘PULP FICTION’ PROMOS TO CLOSE OUT THIS EDITION OF EXTREME WARFAR!!!



‘The Human Suplex Machine’ Taz and his manager Bill Alfonso are standing in front of the Extreme Warfare logo. Taz tells Terry Funk that he proved he's nothing but a stupid old fool for bringing his brother Dory Funk here as well – because he won’t hesitate to choke Dory’s ass out too!

Missy Hyatt looks straight into the camera and says she will never again be portrayed as a bimbo, a slut or a sex object! Hyatt is tired of all the men watching at objectifying her body. The acquisition of Lion’s Pride will show that her greatest asset is her brain.

Shane Douglas, Francine and Bam Bam Bigelow come through the curtain. Bigelow keeps on walking as Francine and Douglas slow down. Shane turns around to the camera and says this is the beginning of a beautiful partnership.

The Sandman is chugging a beer as his valet Chastity says that the Extreme Rumble is no different than a thousand bar fights that Sandman has won. Sandman laughs and says what’s gonna enjoy most is beating the hell out of Fit Finlay with his Singapore cane! Sandman then pours the rest of his beer into Chastity’s mouth.

Butch Reed is telling Ron Simmons that he shouldn’t be putting up with the man trying to screw him out of the Extreme Heavyweight Title. Simmons tells Butch to chill – he’s got this under control. Lee is big and bad, but he ain’t man enough to take the Extreme Heavyweight Championship.

Jacques Rougeau and Pierre Carl Oulette are waving their Quebec flags. Rougeau says he and Pierre aren’t going to be ignored around here. It looks like they need to make an impact – so that’s exactly what they’ll do… Montreal style!

Sabu stands facing the camera and then points at sky as he looks up.

Little Guido and Big Vito are standing in front of the Extreme Warfare. Little Guido tells Big Vito that soon enough, he won’t just be the Sicilian Shooter. He will also be the World Light Heavyweight Champion. Vito asks if that includes Italy too. “Ah you kiddin’ me? Fuhgetabout it – it’s the whole freakin’ world, stunad,” Guido answers. The FBI yuck it up as the scene fades out.

© 1996, XTREME PRO WRESTLING

[jackknight]

Commish said:

XTREME PRO WRESTLING presents:
EXTREME WARFARE
MARCH 10, 1996
(TAPED 3/5/1996)
OLYMPIC AUDITORIUM
LOS ANGELES, CA
AIRING ON: MTV
BROADCASTERS: JOEY STYLES & PAUL E. DANGEROUSLY
RING ANNOUNCER: BOB ARTESE
INTERVIEWER: MALIA HOSAKA

Joey Styles joins us alone this week and mentions that Paul E. Dangerously is off on official business. He announces tonight’s main event which will pit Extreme Heavyweight Champion Ron Simmons against ‘Prime Time’ Brian Lee. Joey also announces that we will see Raven against Van Hammer of WCW and ACW fame.

Lions Pride (Takada/Hase) (w/ Missy Hyatt) defeat Billy Black and Joel Deaton when Takada forced Joel Deaton to submit to the cross armbar. Missy Hyatt is taking notes all throughout her team’s dominating performance.

Extreme Heavyweight Champion Ron Simmons and Butch Reed talk about the title match with Malia Hosaka. Butch mentions again that this match shouldn’t even be happening. Simmons calms Butch down by promising to take care of Lee tonight and then he’ll sit back and watch the Extreme Rumble real close next week.



Commercials:

Jushin Thunder Liger defeats Pierre Carl Oulette (w/ Jacques Rougeau) when Liger connects with the Liger Press off the top rope. Jushin Liger continues to look strong as he gears up for Masa Chono next week.

Raven tells his Nest that he thinks tonight will be a momentous night. The former champion instructs Brian Lee to take care of business – he wants the right result! Quote the Raven nevermore.



Commercials:

Balls Mahoney defeats Atsushi Onita in his return to Extreme Warfare when he power-bombs Onita through a ringside table and then rolls him back in the ringto score the pin.

His victory celebration is cut short by Mike Rotundo, who is wearing a three-piece suit as he walks out onto the ramp. Rotundo says he is disgusted by what he has just seen – that is NOT wrestling! Rotundo says there are great wrestlers here in XPW, but there are also terrible ones like Mahoney. Rotundo tells Balls Mahoney to get some self respect and go back to bartending! Mike calls himself ‘Mr. Wrestling’ and he promises to rid this company of so-called hardcore wrestling. Balls Mahoney challenges him to come to the ring, but Rotundo refuses.



Commercials:

Terry Funk is backstage looking for Taz so they can fight, but Malia Hosaka informs him that Taz is not here tonight! Terry does run into Bill Alfonso, who begs off and says he has no idea where his client is. Funk tells Malia that Taz might not be here tonight, but he better here next week for Extreme Warfare: Fight Night!



Raven (w/ Stevie Richards & Blue Meanie) defeats Van Hammer in a very bizarre match. Raven refuses to fight for most of the match and only after several months does he kick Hammer low and hit the Raven Effect DDT.

After the match, Raven gets on the microphone and tells Hammer that he hopes Hammer learned something tonight. It is fine for some to play to the lead of a conductor – but it must be the right conductor! Hammer grasps his injured head as he seems to contemplate what Raven has told him – which Joey Styles admits made no sense to him.



Commercials:

Dave ‘Fit’ Finlay tells Malia Hosaka that he will win the Extreme Rumble next week because he comes from the most dangerous place on earth – Belfast, Northern Ireland. His interrupted by Shane Douglas and Franine, who both mock Finlay for his mullet. Douglas says Finlay should know better – the winner of the Extreme Rumble will either be Douglas himself or Bam Bam Bigelow. Finlay puts his dukes up like he’s ready to fight, but a smiling Douglas and Francine back away as they laugh.



Extreme Heavyweight Champion Ron Simmons and ‘Prime Time’ Brian Lee fight to a no contest when both Butch Reed and Raven get involved. Lee and Simmons have a hard-hitting match, which sees Ron eventually connect with a big clothesline. Stevie Richards and Blue Meanie run down, but Butch Reed is right on their tails! A brawl breaks out in the ring between all five men.

Raven slowly enters the fray and attacks Simmons from behind, only to get booted. Ron Simmons hurls Raven off the ropes for a spear, but shockingly Van Hammer leaps into the ring out of nowhere and takes the spear for Raven! A confused Simmons gets up, only to walk right into a choke-slam from Brian Lee! Butch Reed is being held by Richards and Raven now and he is thrown to Lee, who drills Butch with a choke-slam as well!

Raven now pulls Van Hammer to his feet and Hammer replicates Raven’s pose! It looks like we have a new member of Raven’s Nest here! Raven’s Nest now look toward the injured Reed and Simmons to do more damage, only for The Eliminators to charge down! Raven calls off his troops, even as Brian Lee looks more than willing for a fight with Saturn and Kronus! Saturn motions that he wants Raven and Richards’ Extreme Tag Team Titles!



IT’S NOW TIME FOR THE ‘PULP FICTION’ PROMOS TO CLOSE OUT THIS EDITION OF EXTREME WARFAR!!!



The Sandman tells Chastity that he has two things planned for Extreme Warfare: Fight Night next week. First, he will beat the beat the hell out of nine a**holes in the Extreme Rumble, then he and Chastity are going to get up to no good in LA!

Bam Bam Bigelow keeps things short and sweet as he says the only weapon he will need next week are his two hands! The Beast from the East says he has no friends, only enemies in the Extreme Rumble.

Dan ‘The Beast’ Severn appears in front of the UFC logo to announce that he will be at Barely Legal ’97 on PPV to sign the contract for his big XPW match!

One Man Gang says he has heard that there is a giant slayer here in XPW, but it couldn’t be that little runt Mikey Whipwreck! Gang tells Mikey to say his last rites because the 747 is in his future!

Little Guido tells his fellow FBI members Big Vito and Disco Inferno that they need to get on track by winning the Extreme Tag Team Titles. Big Vito boasts that it’s time to whack both the Eliminators and Raven/Richards!

‘Mr. Wrestling’ Mike Rotundo once again promises to clean up all the ‘hardcore crap’ in XPW. And he sees no better way to start than to teach Balls Mahoney what its like to be in the ring with an actual wrestler!

Terry Funk promises to do next week what nobody else in Xtreme Pro Wrestling has been able to do. Next week, he is going to kick Taz’s ass!

Big Van Vader is standing in front of the Olympic and announces that he is the surprise final entrant into Extreme Rumble! It’s time, it’s time! It’s Vader Time!



© 1996, XTREME PRO WRESTLING

[jackknight]

Commish said:

XTREME PRO WRESTLING presents:
EXTREME WARFARE: FIGHT NIGHT
MARCH 15, 1996
(TAPED 3/12/1996)
OLYMPIC AUDITORIUM
LOS ANGELES, CA
AIRING ON: MTV
BROADCASTERS: JOEY STYLES & PAUL E. DANGEROUSLY
RING ANNOUNCER: BOB ARTESE
INTERVIEWER: MALIA HOSAKA

Joey Styles and a returning Paul E. Dangerously. Paul opens the show by apologizing for his absence last week, but promises fans that this will be a night to remember. Joey Styles then runs down tonight’s line-up, which will feature the Extreme Rumble and International Champion Masa Chono defending against Jushin Thunder Liger.

This show opens up with Extreme Heavyweight Champion Ron Simmons and Butch Reed coming down to the ring for an interview with Joey Styles. Reed starts off the interview by complaining about how unfair it is that Xtreme Pro Wrestling can’t have enough security to keep Raven’s Nest from interfering. Simmons tells Butch that this is the way Raven has played for six months and at the end of the day, Ron Simmons is still standing here as Extreme Heavyweight Champion. So don't worry about it.

Joey Styles then goes to change the subject to the Extreme Rumble, but they are interrupted by Simon Diamond and Johnny Swinger! Simon has a problem. He and Swinger never get a shot to make an impact here in Extreme Pro Wrestling, so they will make their own impact. Diamond wants a shot at Ron Simmons and the Extreme Heavyweight Title – and he wants it right now if Ron Simmons has the guts! Butch Reed actually laughs out loud at Simon’s request and says for once, he’s fine with Simmons accepting a challenge like this. Simmons agrees and it looks like we have an impromptu title match to open the show!

Extreme Heavyweight Champion Ron Simmons (w/ Butch Reed) defeats Simon Diamond (w/ Johnny Swinger) in under two minutes when he drills Diamond with a spear and then drives him into the canvas with a spine-buster.

‘Hacksaw’ Butch Reed throws Johnny Swinger into the ring after the match so Ron Simmons can drive Swinger into the mat with a spine-buster as well. Ron Simmons holds up the Extreme Heavyweight Title as we go to break.

Commercials:

The Eliminators Saturn and Kronus are backstage with Malia Hosaka. Saturn wants to make one thing very clear. He is not afraid of Raven. He thinks Raven is a lunatic. And he and Kronus both really want to kick his ass. Saturn issues a challenge to Extreme Tag Team Champions Raven and Stevie Richards to put the belts on the line… and face Total Elimination!

International Heavyweight Champion Masa Chono defeats Jushin Thunder Liger in a long match by forcing Liger to submit to the STF. Liger works a non-traditional style as he shows off more of a power move-set. He manages to score two near falls, first with an elevated DDT and a brainbuster. The finish sees Liger caught while going for a flying splash. Chono connects with a shoulder-breaker and then applies the STF. Liger has nowhere to go and eventually taps out.

Masa Chono is handed the belt after the match, when ‘The Wrestling Machine’ Gary Albright charges down to the ring. Albright promises he would confront the winner of this match – and here he is! Gary motions that he wants the title and Chono nods – he is accepting the challenge. Chono goes to walk past Albright, but Gary hooks him, pops the hips and connects with a belly-to-belly suplex! Gary Albright now grabs the International Title and holds it up in the air, before dropping it on Chono’s prone body.

Commercials:

Terry Funk is standing backstage as he joins Joey Styles and Paul E. Dangerously for a split-screen interview. Paul says he has double-checked and Taz is definitely here tonight! Funk says that’s good to hear because it is time for somebody to kick Taz’s ass. Terry says he might be middle-aged, he might be past his prime, but he is still crazy enough to beat the holy hell out Taz! Paul E. Dangerously promises that tonight’s main event will be a match that nobody will forget!

It is now time for the Extreme Rumble featuring ten top competitors: Bam Bam Bigelow, Big Van Vader, Dave ‘Fit’ Finlay, Gary Albright, Mikey Whipwreck, One Man Gang, Raven, Sabu, Sandman, Shane Douglas.

Bob Artese is standing in the middle of the ring and goes over the rules for the Extreme Rumble. Each men will be allowed to bring a weapon of their choice and eliminations will take place by throwing an opponent over the top rope to the floor where both feet must touch the ground. Artese then announces the first entrant.

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SHANE DOUGLAS!!!

Francine leads the way as a clearly upset Shane Douglas makes his way down to the ring. Francine hands a chain to Douglas, which will clearly be his weapon in the match. Shane can be head openly complaining about his number as Bob Artese then announces entrant who drew number two!

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SABU!!!

It’s the homicidal, genocidal, suicide maniac Sabu! Sabu has a table under each arm as he charges down the aisle to get the Extreme Rumble under way! Sabu throws both tables under the bottom rope, but he is immediately bum-rushed by Douglas! Shane pounds away on Sabu with the chain and now wraps it around his opponent’s throat.

Shane Douglas now tries to fling Sabu over the top rope, but Sabu straddles the top rope and connects with an elbow to the back of the neck. Douglas begs off as Sabu grabs the chain away and he wraps it around his fist. Sabu charges over, but Shane boots him in the gut. Douglas grabs a front-facelock as we begin the countdown to the next entrant.

10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1!!!!!

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DAVE ‘FIT’ FINLAY!!!!

(Entrants: Shane Douglas, Sabu, Dave ‘Fit’ Finlay)

Dave ‘Fit’ Finlay is putting a pair of brass knuckles on his hand as he charges down to the ring. Finlay winds up and decks his old rival Sabu from behind! Sabu immediately goes down as Shane Douglas tries to convince Finlay to work together. Finlay nods as Douglas holds Sabu so Finlay can stomp him in the stomach several times.

Douglas then flings Sabu to the ropes and now Finlay tries to send him over the top. Shane now grabs Sabu’s left leg and they look very close to sending him over the top rope. Sabu is fighting here by wrapping his legs around the top rope to hold on. It looks as if Douglas and Finlay are close to eliminating Sabu when the countdown begins.

10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1!!!!!

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THE SANDMAN!!!

(Entrants: S. Douglas, Sabu, D. Finlay, Sandman)

The Sandman and his valet Chastity make their way down to the ring. Sandman finishes his cigarette at the edge of the ramp and then is handed the Singapore cane. Sandman enters the ring and he charges over to Finlay and Douglas. Douglas knows what’s coming so he shoves Finlay in the way to get a cane shot across the forehead! Sandman now lights up Finlay and clotheslines him over and out! (Dave Finlay has been eliminated)

Sandman now points the cane at Shane Douglas, who begs off and tries to make peace. Sandman spies Sabu getting up and just to show he’s unbiased, he bashes Sabu with that cane! Francine now throws the chain to Douglas, who creeps up behind Sandman and begins choking him with it as we start our countdown.

10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1!!!!!

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’THE WRESTLING MACHIN’E GARY ALBRIGHT!!!

(Entrants: Douglas, Sabu, Sandman, Gary Albright)

The Wrestling Machine made an impact earlier tonight by attacking International Champion Masa Chono. It comes back to haunt him as Chono attacks Albright from behind and they begin fighting on the ramp. Albright and Chono end up brawling all the way back up the aisle and to the dressing room. It doesn’t look like ‘The Wrestling Machine’ Gary Albright will be appearing in this match!

Back in the ring, Shane Douglas is choking Sandman out with the chair, until Sabu begins clawing at Shane’s face! Sabu now grabs a table and sets it up in the corner. Sabu hurls Sandman into the corner and now sends Douglas right into him. Sabu hits the ropes and now and connects with a springbroad dropkick into Douglas and Sandman, breaking the table in the process! “Oh my god,” shouts Joey Styles! Our countdown begins again!

10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1!!!!!

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IT’S TIME! IT’S TIME! IT’S VADER TIME!!!

(Entrants: Douglas, Sabu, Sandman, Vader)

The Man They Call Vader charges down the ramp with a 2x4 in his hand! Vader drops the board as he enters the ring and now he drills Sabu with a short-arm clothesline! Shane Douglas is getting up, but he sees Vader so he conspicuously slumps back down! Vader now picks up The Sandman and power-bombs the hell out of him.

Big Van Vader lifts Sandman up now and hurls him over the top rope and out the floor! (Sandman has been eliminated) Vader is totally dominating here as he pulls Sabu into the center of the ring and he connects with a big leaping elbow drop to the chest. Vader now looks over at Shane Douglas, whose eyes go as wide as humanly possible. Vader now stalks Douglas as the countdown starts once again.

10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1!!!!!

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BAM BAM BIGELOW!!!

(Entrants: Douglas, Sabu, Vader, Bam Bam Bigelow)

The Beast from the East Bam Bam Bigelow charges now and he leaps over the top rope into the ring. Remember, he said his weapon will be his two hands – nothing else! Vader turns around and now we have a showdown between two of the biggest, baddest wrestlers in professional wrestling today! Bigelow and Vader nose-to-nose here as Vader shoves Bigelow! Bigelow shoves back! And they are brawling! Vader and Bigelow are beating the heck out of each other here with rights and lefts.

Shane Douglas is standing back watching as Sabu slowly gets back up to his feet. Douglas charges over and boots Sabu in the gut. Sabu fights back by scratching the eyes and now decks Douglas. On the other side of the ring, Bigelow shoots Vader off the ropes and connects with a shoulder-block that sends the big man down! The countdown begins as another entrant prepares to enter the fray.

10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1!!!!!

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RAVEN!!!

(Entrant: Douglas, Sabu, Vader, Bigelow, Raven)

The former Extreme Heavyweight Champion Raven slowly walks down the ramp, but soon he stops and hits his signature pose. Suddenly, ‘Prime Time’ Brian Lee charges out from behind him and now he is headed for the ring! Raven walks over to ring announcer Bob Artese and says Lee will represent him in this match. Lee hits the ring now and he boots Douglas! He charges over now and begins decking both Vader and Bigelow.

Brian Lee boots Vader in the stomach and whips him into Bam Bam Bigelow! Lee is then attacked by Sabu, but Lee elbows him. Brian Lee grips Sabu by the throat and obliterates him with a choke-slam! Lee is up now, but Bigelow charges him from behind. Lee is knocked over the top rope onto the apron. Bigelow grips him and goes to throw him off. Shane Douglas rushes over and kicks Lee in the gut! Lee falls to his knee and now Bigelow boots him, knocking Lee out to the floor as the countdown begins. (Brian Lee is eliminated).

10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1!!!!!

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THE ONE MAN GANG!!!!!

(Entrants: Douglas, Sabu, Vader, Bigelow, One Man Gang)

The massive One Man Gang jogs down the ramp with a roll of barbed wire as Raven is shown sulking while Lee gets to his feet. Brian Lee rolls back into the ring now and he clotheslines Bigelow! He clotheslines Vader! He boots Sabu! And now he grabs Shane by the throat and choke-slams him into the center of the ring! Brian Lee now leaves the ring and crosses paths with the One Man Gang. The two men go eye to eye, before One Man Gang walks away.

One Man Gang now grabs Vader’s 2x4 and wraps his barbed wire around it. OMG spots Sabu now, so the Gang drills him with the 2x4 in the stomach. Sabu is laid out now as the Gang bounces off the ropes and connects with the 747! One Man Gang shouts and shoots his arm into the air as the countdown to the final entrant begins.

10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1!!!!!

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MIKEY WHIPWRECK!!!

(Entrants: Douglas, Sabu, Vader, Bigelow, One Man Gang, Mikey Whipwreck)

Mikey Whipwreck looks very nervous as he wields a chair as he jogs down to the ring. One Man Gang is waiting as he picks up the barbed wire 2x4 again! Whipwreck is on the apron as the Gang bellows him to bring it on. One Man Gang now charges with the bar, but Mikey blocks it with the chair. Gang knocks the chair away and now swings at Mikey, who ducks. Mikey then drills Gang with a kick to the guts! One Man Gang doubles over and drops the 2x4 as Mikey grabs him and connects with the Whipper Snapper!

One Man Gang flops backwards into the ropes as Vader charges and clotheslines him over the top and out to the ramp! (One Man Gang is eliminated) Mikey is celebrating now, but not for long as Bam Bam Bigelow drills him. Bigelow picks up Whipwreck and hurls him out to the floor! (Mikey Whipwreck is eliminated). Mikey has the good sense to dart off to the back as One Mang Gang pursues him.

We’re down to our final four here as Douglas regroups with Bigelow as Vader and Sabu stand in opposing corners. Finally, Bigelow and Douglas charge. Douglas is working over Sabu as Vader and Bigelow slug it out once again. Douglas goes to connect with a belly-to-belly suplex on Sabu, but Sabu catches him with a head-butt that busts Shane open. Sabu then drills Douglas with a DDT!

Bam Bam Bigelow is now being choked by Vader, who moves around now. Bigelow lands a shot to the stomach and now he lifts Vader up. He starts shoving Vader over the top rope. Sabu sees an opportunity here and he charges as Bigelow lifts his own leg in the air to gain more leverage. Shane Douglas sees Sabu about to pounce on Bigelow and goes to get up, but slumps back down and waves the situation off!

Sabu scoops Bigelow’s other leg up and pushes, sending Bam Bam and Vader tumbling out to the floor! (Bam Bam Bigelow and Vader are eliminated) Only now does Shane Douglas spring into action as he grabs the chair and waffles Sabu across the back, sending Sabu out as well! (Sabu is eliminated) Shane Douglas has won the Extreme Rumble by hook or by crook. Vader and Bigelow are now brawling on the floor as they fight their way up the ramp and brawl all the way to the back. Francine now rushes into the ring to end to the bleeding Douglas, who has his hand raised by the referee! Shane Douglas will challenge for the Extreme Heavyweight Title at Barely Legal ’96.



WINNER OF THE EXTREME RUMBLE: SHANE DOUGLAS

Commercials:

Francine and Shane Douglas are standing in front of the XPW logo with Malia Hosaka. Douglas says he promised when he came to Xtreme Pro Wreslting that he could soon be Extreme Heavyweight Champion. Shane is now on step closer to making that happen – all that is standing in his way now is Ron Simmons. Douglas wants to make this very clear, Ron Simmons is a placeholder. Nothing more, nothing less. The title will come home to Shane Douglas at Barely Legal ’96. Malia then asks about Shane not helping out his close friend Bam Bam Bigelow in the Extreme Rumble, but Francine barks at her not to start trouble. Douglas tells Malia that the only thing matters right now is getting to the top of the mountain – that will happen in one month’s time.

VTR: We see video footage from The Human Suplex Machine Taz’s Path of Rage through Xtreme Pro Wrestling and his feud with Terry Funk. These two finally meet in the ring.



‘War Machine’ by Kiss signals the arrival of Bill Alfonso and the ‘Human Suplex Machin’ Taz to the ring for our main event. Taz is looking very intense as he appears to be totally ignoring the suggestions of his manager Bill Alfonso, which has been a pattern in recent weeks. ‘Desperado’ plays next and down comes Terry Funk, who looks ready for the fight of his life. Funk and Taz are given instructions by referee Jimmy Jett, but the rules go out the door quickly as they start brawling. Taz gains the advantage and hooks Funk for a T-Bone Taz Plex, but Funk breaks it with an elbow to side of the head.

Funk rears back and he decks Taz, then he does it again! Terry now presses Taz’s head against the top rope and begins choking him. Taz fights him off, shoots on Funk and then takes him down with a Fujiwara armbar. Funk is fighting with all his might here and refuses to submit. Taz finally breaks the hold and as Funk gets up, Taz catches him, pops the hips and connects with an overhead belly-to-belly Taz Plex! Taz covers now, but Funk is able to kick out.

Taz pulls Funk up by the hair and now he slides his thumb across his ropes – time for the Taz Mission! Taz goes to apply it, but Funk connects with a mule kick! Funk scrapes the eyes and he decks Taz. Now he slams Taz and connects with a knee drop to the throat. Terry uses his boot to rake the eyes on Taz and he is choking the Human Suplex Machine with his boot. Funk kicks Taz in the head twice now and he is signaling for the end.

Terry Funk pulls Taz to his knees and connects with a right hand, a second, a third! Now he pulls Taz is, lifts him into the air and drills Taz with a pulling pile-driver! Joey Styles is shouting that it’s over as we can hear some ruffling in the broadcast booth. Funk has the cover on Taz and referee Jerry Calhoun counts the 1-2-CALHOUN IS PULLED OUT OF THE RING AND HAS A CELL PHONE BUSTED OVER HIS HEAD!!! THE CAMERA ZOOMS AROUND TO REVEAL THE CULPRIT AS:

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PAUL E. DANGEROUSLY!!!!!

Joey Styles is shouting at Paul E. now – what the heck has Paul just done? Terry Funk didn’t see any of this so now he turns around and he is asking Dangerously what happened? Paul plays dumb, but Funk can hear Joey Styles shouting that it was in fact Paul E. Dangerously who attacked the referee! Funk is trying to figure out what happened, until Taz grips him from behind, pops the hips and drills Terry with the belly-to-bacK Taz Plex! Taz now immediately slides over and he has locked in the Taz Mission!

Terry Funk is caught in the Taz Mission now and he flails around! Taz has the hold locked in and now look at this – Paul E. Dangerously enters he ring and is asking Funk if he submits! Funk will not submit as Paul E. Dangerously screams and shouts for him to give up. Meanwhile, Bill Alfonso looks totally confused as the camera pans to him out on the floor! Funk is fighting with every inch of his strength as Taz locks in the Taz Mission tighter and tighter and tighter. Finally, Terry has no choice but to tap out! Funk has tapped out to the Taz Mission!

Paul E. Dangerously swings around to call for the bell, but he stops himself and whips back around with a wicked smile on his face! Paul E. is now barking at Taz to choke him completely out! This is disgusting! Funk fades, slowly fades! Finally, his whole body goes limp! Now Paul E. Dangerously orders Bob Artese to ring the damn bell! Taz finally releases the hold and now has his hand raised by Paul E. Dangerously! These two were in cahoots – but why? Why has Paul E. Dangerously done this to Terry Funk?

Xtreme Pro Wrestling officials are out now, as are medics. Bill Afonso is now in the ring and he is questioning Taz about what’s going on – only for Paul E. to shove Bill into a T-Bone Taz Plex! Taz just attacked his own damn manager! Dory Funk Jr. runs down to the ring now to attend to his younger brother, who is not moving. In the center of the ring, Paul E. Dangerously raises Taz’s arm high in the air and cackles as Dory looks back at them with disgust. The final image of the night is Terry Funk being loaded onto a stretcher, rushed backstage and loaded into a waiting ambulance. The ambulance sirens blare our camera shot fades out!



© 1996, XTREME PRO WRESTLING

[jackknight]

Commish said:

XTREME PRO WRESTLING

PRESENTS

EXTREME WARFRE

AIRING ON:



10-11:30PM 3/17/1996






Joey Styles is standing in the middle of the ring at the Olympic Auditorium in Los Angeles.



Joey Styles: HELLO AND WELCOME EVERYONE TO EXTREME WARFARE LIVE ON MTV!!!!! My name is Joey Styles and, here, tonight, I can promise you fans here in Los Angeles and all our television viewers 90 minutes of television you will not forget. In our main event, we will have Extreme Heavyweight Champion Ron Simmons teaming with The Sandman against the duo of Shane Douglas and Dave ‘Fit’ Finlay! Right now, however, I introduce you to two men who shocked the world last week – The Human Suplex Machine Taz and Paul E. Dangerously!

'War Machine' by Kiss



Paul E Dangerously is grinning ear-to-ear as he leads Taz down to the ring, but takes some time to gloat at the fans are chanting "PAUL'S A SELLOUT (CLAP! CLAP! CLAPCLAPCLAP)"!

Joey Styles: Paul, I think I can speak for everyone in this arena and at home, when I ask just what the hell you were doing last week when you helped this man Taz, who has been a thorn in your side for months?

Paul E. Dangerously: Joey, I think you know me very well. Maybe as well as anyone. I think you know that I am a man who finds a way into influencing events so I can come out on top.

Joey Styles: That’s fine Paul, but what you and this man Taz did last week crossed every line of decency. For god sakes, you put Terry Funk out of this sport. What the hell is wrong with you?

Paul E. Dangerously: Don’t talk down to me, Joey. We’ve known each other a long time, but that doesn’t mean I or this man Taz will let you talk down to me.

Taz: That’s exactly right. Joey, shut ya damn mouth or I’ll eliminate you from this equation without a second thought. You understand me?

Joey Styles: Fine, Taz. Fine.

Paul E. Dangerously: Much better. To answer your question – I’ll pose another question to you. How exactly have I been rewarded for all the back-breaking, time-consuming, company-saving work I’ve done for Xtreme Pro Wrestling? You know, like negotiating a television deal with MTV. Like securing this company a home base here in the wildest city on the panet. Like securing this company a PPV deal to bring Barely Legal to the world on April 21?

Joey Styles: …

Paul E. Dangerously: I see how it is, Joey. That's okay. The answer to my question is that I’ve been treated like a FOOL. When Todd Gordon left this company, I did everything I could to keep XPW together and we have thrived. How exactly was I rewarded? I’ll tell you. I had to stand by while Terry Funk was made the president of XPW. TERRY FUNK!!!! A guy who ran his own hometown territory of Amarillo into the ground! I had to let this guy take control of XPW – and then smile while doing it.

What exactly did Terry Funk bring to XPW? Nothing. He brought nothing Joey. In fact, I was basically running this company, setting the agenda, making matches and doing public relations – all on the salary of ‘executive producer’ of Extreme Warfare. So… when Terry Funk proves he is the idiot that everyone knew he was and resigns as president, surely then it’s my time, right? It’s my time to shine?

But no. NO! This joke of a company lets Terry Funk make his dopey, punch-drunk older brother Dory Funk Jr. the new president of the company? After all I did, all I sacrificed for XPW! So that’s when I woke up. Just who the hell had I become, Joey? What the hell had I done with my life?

Joey Styles: I thought you were a good friend of mine, but now I don’t think so.

Paul E. Dangerously: I’m sorry to hear that Joey, but I can live with it. You see, I've wasted so much time trying to please my 'friends' at Xtreme Pro Wrestling. Not anymore. A few weeks ago, I was sat at home wondering if I should just be happy being a damn announcer? That’s when I finally woke up. That’s when I called this man, Taz. This man has caused me so many headaches over the last year. He has torn a path through the company I thought I loved. But the question I couldn’t answer was - why exactly am I opposing a man like Taz? A man who is destined for greatness in this sport.

So I called Taz at home and we walked. We came to an understanding. I’m not this man’s boss. He’s not a member of the Dangerous Alliance. I can tell you right now that my relationship with Taz is as his sports agent. I work in his interest – and in turn, he will help me get some revenge on the pieces of human garbage who have stood in my way. We are equals Joey Styles – and together, nothing will stop us!

Taz points to the aisle way now as XPW president Dory Funk Jr. makes his way down to the ring and he does not look pleased.



Joey Styles: Mr. Funk, I don’t know that this is the safest place for you to be right now.

Dory Funk Jr: Joey, thank you for your concern, but I’ve seen meaner and I’ve seen tougher. Paul, I never liked you or trusted you like my brother did. I knew you were an ingrate a long time ago. But I’m here to tell you right now to get the hell out of my arena because YOU ARE FIRED as executive producer of Extreme Warfare! Come on, get the hell out of here!

Paul E. Dangerously: Haha, Dory, you kill me old timer! I’m not some dumb punch-drunk old meat-head like you or your crippled brother. Don’t you think I knew you would try to do this tonight? Right now, my attorneys are delivering a wrongful termination lawsuit to the board of directors that will hold up any decision on my position with XPW for weeks. Remember, how you said a few weeks ago that you would show no favortism in any incident regarding your brother Terry? Well I think you just breached that. I guess we’ll take it up in court. But right now, I have a little news for you.

Dory Funk Jr: You’re no good scum Dangerously.

Paul E. Dangerously: First of all, let’s get real. It’s Heyman, Paul Heyman. No more cartoon characters. Secondly, since I remain in power while our lawsuit is being contested, I’m happy to announce that right here next week on Extreme Warfare, The Human Suplex Machine will be in action! His opponent will be none other than your crippled brother’s protégé… Mikey Whipwreck!

Dory Funk Jr: You son of a…

Taz: You best watch yourself, old man. Last week, I choked out your broth-ah. Next week, I choke out his little buddy. I think I showed before – I ain’t afraid to choke YOU out either!

Paul Heyman: Dory… have a nice night!

Joey Styles: I just… I’m stunned. Let’s just start our first match. I’m disgusted.

The ‘Hulka Blues’ begins playing in the arena, meaning that the homicidal, genocidal, suicidal Sabu is one his way to the ring for a title bout.

THE HULKA BLUES



Joey Styles: Sabu has cut a path through Xtreme Pro Wrestling so far, but has had few title matches. That changes tonight here on Extreme Warfare as he squares off against the reigning World Light Heavyweight Champion – from Osaka, Japan, it’s Taka Michinoku.

The music changes as World Light Heavyweight Champion Taka Michinoku runs down to the ring for what surely will be a memorable match on Extreme Warfare.

KAIENTAI THEME

WORLD LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

TAKA MICHINOKU

VS.

SABU

20 MINUTE TIME LIMIT

REFEREE: JIMMY JETT

Sabu is sprinting around the ring, stopping and starting each time before he pounces on Taka. Michinoku motions for Sabu to bring it on, so Sabu complies by charging right at him. Taka dodges and Sabu goes flying into the corner to start off the match.

Taka Michinoku now measures Sabu and lands a series of kicks to the midsection on the challenger. Michinoku now leaps into the air and connects with a spinning back kick to the jaw on Sabu! Taka now snap-mares Sabu into the center of the ring.

Sabu is struggling to get to his feet now as Taka ascends to the top rope and perches. The champion now flies off with a missile dropkick that catches Sabu right in the center of the chest. Sabu is now down and Michinoku scurries over to go for the pin.

Taka hooks the leg here, but Sabu is able to power out. Taka grabs Sabu by the hair, but Sabu rakes his eyes! Sabu hits the ropes and lands a forearm strike to the head! Michinoku is hurt here as Sabu scoops him up and connects with a stomach breaker.

Sabu is up like a flash here, hits the ropes, leaps up and he connects with a springboard twisting leg drop on Michinoku! Sabu is cover and he also hooks both legs to be extra sure to the leverage. Referee Jimmy Jett makes the count!

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TAKA MICHINOKU GETS THE SHOULDER UP!!!!

Sabu is right back on him, however, as he boots Taka in the stomach. Now he picks Taka up, but Michinoku grabs a hold and dives down to drive the top of his head into Sabu’s jaw! Taka is shaking off the pain here as he climbs up to the second rope.

Sabu is using the ropes to pull himself up here – as Taka leaps off the second rope and catches the champion with the tornado DDT! Sabu hits hard – Joey Styles thinks this could be it here! The world champion makes the cover.

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SABU GETS THE FOOT OVER THE BOTTOM ROPE!!!!

Sabu is able to defy the odds here to keep this hotly contested championship match. There is a bit of a stalemate now as both men are slow to get to their feet.

Joey Styles: We have to pause now for a station break. I can assure you that we will keep the cameras rolling and we will bring you any major events once we come back from this brief break.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

VTR: As we come back, we get some action during the break where Sabu blocked a charge from Taka Michinoku and back-dropped the champion out on the entrance ramp!

Sabu is now walking towards the opposite side of the ring now as Taka Michinoku tries to get to his feet. The challenger hits the ropes and DIVES THROUGH THE ROPES WITH A SUICIDE DIVE ON TAKA MICHINOKU OUT ON THE FLOOR!!!!!



Joey Styles summed it up perfectly as Sabu and Taka Michinoku are down and out on the floor. Slowly, Sabu manages to crawl back towards the ring and roll back – and the out again to break the count! Taka is trying to get up as well – and he sees Sabu stalking towards him.

Sabu goes for the double sledge, but Taka kicks him in the gut. Michinoku leaps into the air and HURACANRANAS SABU ON THE FLOOR!!!! Sabu was just driven head-first into the concrete floor.

Taka Michinoku slowly rolls Sabu back into the ring. The champion makes the cover – hooks both legs – and there is referee Jimmy Jett to make the count.

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3 – NO!!! NO!!! NO!!!!

SABU KICKED OUT JUST IN TIME!!!!! SABU KICKED OUT ONCE AGAIN!!!!!

Taka Michinoku rolls off Sabu now and puts his head into his hands. Joey Styles wonders just what it will take for Sabu to score the three count here tonight on Extreme Warfare on MTV!!!!

The World Light Heavyweight Champion is up now and he tries to change tactics by applying a surfboard submission. Michinoku has the hold really locked in here and it looks like Sabu may be forced to submit!!!

Jimmy Jett raises Sabu’s arm – IT DROPS ONCE!!!!
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IT DROPS TWICE!!!!!!
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IT DR- NO IT DOESN’T!!!!! SABU SHOOTS HIS ARM UP INTO THE AIR!!!!!

SABU WILL NOT SAY DIE HERE TONIGHT ONE EXTREME WARFARE!!!!!!!

Taka Michinoku sees that this pointless so he releases the hold and now gets back to his feet. Michinoku now signals that it’s over! It looks like he will go for the Michinoku Driver to end this match.

Joey Styles reminds that viewer that this is the move that put Taka’s mentor The Great Sasuke down for the count at Cyber Slam ’96! Taka picks up Sabu, scoops him OVER HIS HEAD..
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NO!!!!! SABU ESCAPES OUT THE BACK!!!!

SABU DRILLS TAKA MICHINOKI WITH A FALLING REVERSE DDT!!!!!!

The homicidal, genocidal, suicidal Sabu now darts up to the top rope! He adjusts his position and looks back to see Taka splayed out on the canvas! Sabu now leaps – MOONSAULT!!!! MOONSAULT!!!! MOONSAULT!!!!

Sabu stays on top for the cover now – and he again hooks both legs on the champion!

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3!!!!!!!!!!!

WE HAVE A NEW CHAMPION!!!!
WE HAVE A NEW CHAMPION!!!!
WE HAVE A NEW CHAMPION!!!!
WE HAVE A NEW CHAMPION!!!!



Referee Jimmy Jett hands the belt now to Sabu, who grabs it away and now he points to the sky as these fans give him a big ovation! Taka Michinoku is up now and he looks incredibly pissed. He is arguing with the referee – as Sabu celebrates with his title belt.

Joey Styles: What a match to open up this episode of Extreme Warfare! Taka Michinoku has nothing to be ashamed of and he certainly will get a rematch – in fact, it looks like he wants one right now! Fans, right now, let’s go backstage to Malia Hosaka who is standing by with Raven and Stevie Richards!



Malia Hosaka: Joining me now are the Extreme Tag Team Champions Raven and Stevie Richards. Gentleman, you have had those titles for a few weeks now – when will you defend them again?

Stevie Richards: Babe, the rules say we HAVE to defend them every 45 days. Why kill ourselves giving all these other scrub teams title matches when they don’t deserve them?

Malia Hosaka: That 45 days is coming up soon. And one team that seems to want a match with you two is The Eliminators…

Stevie Richards: Are you kidding me? Those two dopes? They couldn’t beat Raven and me on our worst day. I think it will be A LONG TIME before they ever get a shot at us.

Raven looks annoyed and he finally shoves Stevie Richards aside.

Raven: Saturn, Kronus, I see something in the two of you. You seem so anxious for battle. Why shouldn’t we be on the same side? Still, you seem intent on that never happening. I’m a giving man. You want to be in the ring with Richards and I? That’s fine – provided that you can pass the first test next week. If you really want these titles – you can prove it on the field of battle. Quote the Raven… nevermore!

Malia Hosaka: A challenge… of some kind… has been offered to The Eliminators. I will try to catch up with them later to get their response.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

We come back to Simon Diamond and his tag team partner Johnny Swinger standing in the middle of the ring.

Joey Styles: We’re back on Extreme Warfare – and apparently Simon has something that he wants to say. I bet he’s going to complain.

Simon Diamond: You know something – SIMON HAS A PROBLEM!!!!!

Joey Styles: I told you so.

Simon Diamond: Last week, Simon Diamond was once again cheated by the suits here at Xtreme Championship Wrestling. Simon didn’t have a fair shot to beat Ron Simmons. The so-called champion cheated – everyone saw it. Simon Diamond should be the Extreme Heavyweight Champion right now. Well, tonight, Simon Diamond turns a negative into a positive! Johnny and Simon are here – we’re ready for action. So if there’s any team back there who feels froggy – come on down and get the beating you deserve.

Joey Styles: Interesting strategy from Diamond and Swinger. It didn’t turn out so well for them last time.

Music begins to play here in the Olympic Auditorium.

'Here Comes the Hotstepper' by Ini Kamoze

Joey Styles: I think Simon Diamond has a much bigger problem than he ever believed because that song can mean only one thing! They tore up the Global Wrestling Federation! They tore up the NWA! And now – THE PUBLIC ENEMY ARE HERE IN XTREME PRO WRESTLING!!!!!!!



Johnny Grunge and ‘Flyboy’ Rocco Rock make their first appearance on Extreme Warfare – and they are carrying a table to the ring with them! Simon Diamond and Johnny Swinger are freaking out in the ring.

Joey Styles: I think this proves that old saying – BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR!!!!!

TAG TEAM MATCH

THE PUBLIC ENEMY

VS.

SIMON DIAMOND & JOHNNY SWINGER

10 MINUTE TIME LIMIT

REFEREE: JERRY CALHOUN

The Public Enemy wave their arms and really create a scene before the bell rings, but they go right to work once this one gets under way. Johnny Grunge mauls Johnny Swinger, who seems to be constantly having to pay the price for his buddy Simon Diamond’s arrogance. Grunge and Rock take turns tagging in and out as they wear down Swinger.

Swinger finally is able to a duck a clothesline attempt by ‘Flyboy’ Rocco Rock and he connects with a super kick. Johnny dives into his corner to tag in Simon Diamond, who is all smiles now that Rocco is down. Diamond gets in some kicks and now pulls Flyboy Rocco to his knees. Simon goes to pepper him, only for Rock to connect with a headbutt to the gut.

‘Flyboy’ Rocco gets back to his feet now and he clotheslines Diamond down to the canvas. He tags out now to Johnny Grunge, who comes off the ropes with a leaping leg drop! Grunge covers, but to his credit Simon is able to kick out just before the three count.

Johnny Grunge now shoots Diamond off the ropes, but Simon manages to slap Swinger on the shoulder as he hits the ropes! That makes a stunned Johnny Swinger the legal man – and he comes in to the match in rough style as Grunge flips him into the ring.

Grunge now drills Swinger with a clothesline and he pulls his opponent into the middle of the ring. Johnny Grunge connects with a power-bomb and now tags out to ‘Flyboy’ Rocco Rock! The Flyboy climbs up to the top rope.

Rocco Rock then dives off the top rope with an incredible senton splash that he calls the Drive By! Flyboy covers here and he gets the three count – as Simon Diamond doesn’t even bother trying to make the save!

The Public Enemy get a big debut here and they go about their overhead waves – until Johnny Grunge spots Simon Diamond trying to slink away. They both charge out to the ramp and cut off Simon. Diamond tries to beg off, but Grunge decks him and throws him back into the ring.

Flyboy Rocco now tosses the table into the ring and Johnny sets it up. Grunge then slams Simon Diamond on top of it as Rocco Rock leaps off the top rope again –
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’FLYBOY’ ROCCO ROCK COMES OFF THE TOP ROPE WITH A SPLASH ON SIMON DIAMOND!!!!

THROUGH THE FRIGGIN' TABLE!!!!

SIMON GOES THROUGH THE TABLE!!!!!!

The Public Enemy have made a hell of a first impression as they now go back to their waving routine while ‘Here Comes the Hotstepper’ plays in the arena!

Joey Styles: Hopefully, Simon Diamond has learned his lesson! But the bigger news is that The Public Enemy have arrived here in Xtreme Pro Wrestling. That has GOT to be bad news for every other tag team. Right now, lets go to Malia Hosaka with the Extreme Heavyweight Champion Ron Simmons.



Malia Hosaka: The Extreme Heavyweight Champ…

Butch Reed: Hold up. I’m here too, Joey Styles! Damn man, can’t anybody in this white-bread company get anything right?

Malia Hosaka: My apologies on behalf of my colleague. Mr. Simmons, at Barely Legal ’96, you will put your belt on the line against Shane Douglas. But tonight, you will also get a shot at Douglas as you team with The Sandman to face Shane and Dave ‘Fit’ Finlay. Your thoughts, please.

Butch Reed: I tell you what I think! Why does my brother Ron need to be in some tag team match? And if he is in a tag team match – why didn’t they book ME as his partner? Man, Ron, I think these white boys are doin’ everything they can to get that belt off you.

Ron Simmons: Butch – chill, man! See when it comes to Shane Douglas at Barely Legal ’96 – I am looking forward to it. As for tonight, I got this. Sandman ain’t my best friend like you Butch, but I don’t have a problem with him either. The way I see it, we got common enemies, so tonight, we get in that ring and whoop some ass on Finlay and Douglas!

Butch Reed: Ron – you know… WHATEVER, man!

Malia Hosaka: The Extreme Heavyweight Champion sounds ready for tonight’s main event. Stay tuned because up next – it’s The Man They Call Vader!!!!!

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Malia Hosaka is standing with German wrestler Alex Wright, who has recently signed with Xtreme Pro Wrestling.



Malia Hosaka: Joining me now is Alex Wright, who has been a star of the cruiserweight and light heavyweight divisions all over the world. Alex, do you have your sights set on the new World Light Heavyweight Champion Sabu?

Alex Wright: I want the belt – but I can’t believe I have to get in the ring with a creature like this Sabu. I come from Germany – the cultural capital of Europe. We have great music, great authors, great movies – and even better wrestlers. I’m a much better wrestler than this Sabu or anyone else that is here in Xtreme Pro Wrestling! They don’t call me Das Wunderkind for nothing!

The interview is interrupted here by ‘The Sicilian Shooter’ himself Little Guido Maritato… AND TOMMY RICH?!?!?



Tommy Rich: SOMEBODY SAY SOMETHIN’ ABOUT GREAT RASSLERS? I TELL YOU, GORDON SOLIE, I GOT ME THE BEST RASSLER IN THE WORLD RIGHT HERE!!!! HE’S MY PAISON, GORDON!!!! HE’S DAMN SURE BETTER THAN STEVE WRIGHT OVER HERE!!!!

Malia Hosaka: Umm… what?

Little Guido: EEEEEEEY – Malia, show SOME RESPECT to the BIG DON!!!! The Big Don – he knows ain’t nobody that can take me down! As for you, Derr Weinerschnitzel, let’s see how tough you are when you gotta get in the ring with ME – THE SICILIAN SHOOTER!!!!

Alex Wright: I can’t understand anything you two just said!

Little Guido: Understand THIS! Sabu cut ahead of me in line to face Hong Kong Phooey and he stole that belt. Nobody – not YOU, not ANYBODY – is getting in the way of the Full Blooded EYEtalians now. So take off back to France – or you’ll end up sleepin’ with da fishes!!!!! And as for you Sabu – I ain’t scared a’ya. I don’t like ya. You got a belt that belongs to me. I’m takin’ it – Full Blooded EYEtalian style!

Malia Hosaka: Some strong words all around here, Joey Styles! Let’s get back to the ring to see The Man They Call Vader!

Joey Styles: We saw The Man They Call Vader debut here last week – and it looks as if he already has an issue with The Beast from the East Bam Bam Bigelow! Tonight, he faces an altogether different challenge in the incredibly agile big-man ‘Bad’ Billy Black!

SINGLES MATCH

VADER

VS.

BILLY BLACK

10 MINUTE TIME LIMIT

REFEREE: JERRY CALHOUN

‘IT’S TIME!!!! IT’S TIME!!!!!! IT’S VADER TIME!!!!!!” The music blares as Vader makes his way down the ramp – wearing the full headdress that he used in New Japan in the late 1980s. Billy Black stands waiting – he looks a bit intimidated, but still ready for a fight! Vader is all business as he makes crazy eyes at Billy Black to start off this match.

Billy Black makes the first move as Vader approaches by kicking the masked man in the gut. Vader fires back with an open palm to the side of the head that rocks Black back into the corner. Vader goes to town with a series of body-shots and then hurls Black out to the center of the ring. Vader hits the ropes, leaps high into the air and connects with a huge elbow drop to the stomach of his opponent.

Joey Styles: Incredible elbow smash from Vader! Let’s take a split screen view now to bring you some comments from The Beast from the East Bam Bam Bigelow!!!!!



Bam Bam Bigelow: Vader, Vader, Vader!!! All I’ve heard about for close to ten years now is how big, bad and tough Vader is. Well Vader, you are looking at the baddest man on the planet right now. I been waiting a long time to catch up wit' ya – and I think you could say the same 'bout me. It’s time we show the world who the most dangerous man in this sport really is. You got the guts to tangle with the Beast of the East?

Billy Black is making a comeback in the ring as he connects with a series of rights that knock Vader back. Black hits the ropes and connects with a big clothesline that takes Vader off his feet for the first time. Black now climbs to the top rope for a cross-body block – only to be caught by Vader!

Vader now power-slams Black to the canvas – which leads to the ring literally shaking. Vader now signals that its over as he drags Black near the corner. Vader climbs up to that second rope, gets some momentum and comes crashing down on Billy Black with the Vader Bomb! Vader hooks the leg as he covers for the academic 1-2-3!!! A huge win for The Man They Call Vader – will his next big challenge be the Beast from the East Bam Bam Bigelow?



COMMERCIAL BREAK

Malia Hosaka is standing with Shane Douglas and his valet Francine.



Malia Hosaka: Shane Douglas, you will be facing Extreme Heavyweight Champion Ron Simmons at Barely Legal ’96. But we are just moments away from getting a preview of that match when you team with Dave ‘Fit’ Finlay to take on Simmons and The Sandman!

Shane Douglas: Ron Simmons, you have got to know by now that you will be seen as nothing but a footnote in the lineage of the Extreme Heavyweight Title. You fought so long – so hard – to beat Raven for that belt. All that effort – just for you to be remembered as the man who lost the title to Shane Douglas – the new franchise player of Xtreme Pro Wrestling! I don’t give a damn about Finlay. I don’t give a damn about Sandman. Tonight, all I care about is getting the better of Ron Simmons! Don’t switch that dial – the future of this company is about to hit the ring!

Francine: And as for you Chastity – stay outta my way you skank!

Shane Douglas: Francine, let’s hit the bricks. You have some strutting to do!

Malia Hosaka: Our big main event is coming up next. Back to you Joey Styles at ringside!

Joey Styles: Finlay, Douglas, Sandman and Simmons are four men who have made a huge impression on Xtreme Pro Wrestling. They just might tear the ring apart in our main event!

MAIN EVENT

SHANE DOUGLAS (W/ FRANCINE)

AND

DAVE ‘FIT’ FINLAY

VS.

EXTREME HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION RON SIMMONS

AND

THE SANDMAN (W/ CHASTITY)

TV TIME REMAINING

REFEREE: JIMMY JETT

It looks like Finlay and Douglas are about to attack The Sandman prior to the bell, but Extreme Heavyweight Champion Ron Simmons darts down to the ring to make sure that doesn’t happen. Sandman and Dave Finlay start off and Dave Finlay is basically taunting Sandman and as Sandman takes a drag on his cigarette and then stomps it out on the canvas.

Dave Finlay hauls off and nails him in the face with a right hand. Sandman swings back around and drills Dave Finlay with a kick, but to his credit, Dave Finlay is back up fighting pretty quickly. Dave Finlay and Sandman are going toe-to-toe and Finlay sends Sandman off the ropes and catches him with a power-slam that garners a near fall.

Shane Douglas is tagged in and he leaps into the ring from the outside and gives Sandman a dropkick that sends his opponent sprawling. Shane Douglas yanks Sandman to his feet, but Sandman grabs a hold of Douglas and levels him with a clothesline, before tagging in Ron Simmons.

Ron Simmons comes in and clotheslines Shane Douglas as the crowd cheers and then hits an belly-to-belly on Dave Finlay, who makes the mistake of charging into the ring.

Joey Styles: The Extreme Heavyweight Champion is lightning up the competition here! If this is what Ron Simmons brings to Barely Legal ’96, Shane Douglas will be in serious trouble!

Ron Simmons gets the crowd going here, but this is a mistake as it gives Shane Douglas time to get back to his feet. Shane Douglas attacks from behind with a high knee. Ron Simmons is hunched over in pain here as Douglas hits the ropes and comes back at him.

Joey Styles: Fans we have to take a quick break. We will be right back with the conclusion of this main event.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Joey Styles: We are back, fans. During the break, Douglas and Finlay were able to keep up their advantage and it look as if they have Ron Simmons in serious trouble!

Shane Douglas gives him a running knee lift, before tagging his partner Dave Finlay into the match. Dave Finlay takes advantage and works over the Ron Simmons, but Finlay’s momentum is stemmed as he misses a clothesline into the corner.

Ron Simmons stumbles out now, shoots Dave Finlay off the ropes and then drills him with a running spear! Shane Douglas is in and Ron Simmons hurls him to the apron. Shane Douglas is right back in, which brings in Sandman. We have all four men brawling in the ring right now.

Joey Styles: Pandemonium has broken loose here, fans!

Sandman is drilling Finlay with rights and lefts now as the referee tries to break up a brawl between Shane Douglas and Ron Simmons. Finlay boots Sandman in the stomach now and tries to grab the Singapore cane from Chastity. Francine is over now and she shoves Chastity, allowing Finlay to grab the cane!

Finlay turns around – only to get a boot from Sandman! Sandman grabs the cane and drills Finlay across the forehead with it! Sandman hooks Finlay now and he drives him into the canvas with a piledriver! Referee Jimmy Jett turns around to see Sandman cover!

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SANDMAN SCORES THE PIN ON HIS ENEMY DAVE ‘FIT’ FINLAY – PROVING PERHAPS THAT HE IS THE REAL HARDCORE SUPERSTAR!!!!!

Ron Simmons is now back in and he has his hand raised by Jimmy Jett, while Sandman scares off Francine and then shares a beer with his valet Chastity on the ring apron. Simmons throws Finlay out to the floor now, but Douglas is in from behind.

Shane Douglas whips Ron Simmons around, boots him and connects with the belly-to-belly suplex! Douglas is up and he is all-smiles now, but here comes The Sandman! Shane Douglas splits out to the floor and embraces France out on the floor. Douglas is laughing as Butch Reed hits the ring, shoves Sandman aside and tends to the fallen Extreme Heavyweight Champon.

Joey Styles: Shane Douglas gets the last laugh tonight – but he may have only succeeded in pissing off Ron Simmons even more!

We go now to the ‘Pulp Fiction’ promos to close out this week’s edition of Extreme Warfare!

‘Misirlou’ by Dick Dale



IT’S THE ELIMINATORS!!!!!

Saturn: Raven, you wanna play games? You want try to get inside my head? You want to get inside Kronus’s head. You’re a sick man, Raven, but you got no idea how much sicker, how much more twisted me and Kronus are than even you. You want us to play your game next week to get a title shot – that’s fine. We’ll play – but be ready because at some point real soon, we’re gonna get sick of playing around!!!!

Kronus: Games! I love games!!!! MY KIND OF GAMES!!!!!
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IT’S MR. WRESTLING MIKE ROTUNDO!!!!!

Mike Rotundo: Signapore canes? Tables? Chairs? What in the hell is going on around here? I’m a wrestler. I don’t lower myself to using tactics like that. Balls Mahoney, you represent this crap! So the first thing I’m going to do is show you what REAL WRESTLING is all about! Then, I’m going to go down the list and show the same thing to each and every one of the so-called wrestlers here in Xtreme Pro Wrestling!

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IT’S THE MAN THEY CALL VADER!!!!!



Vader: BIGELOW!!!!! BIGELOW!!!!! YOU THINK YOU’RE SICK OF HEARING ABOUT ME??? WELL, TOO BAD!!!! I’M HERE TO STAY!!!! AND YOU’RE NOT!!!! LOOK INTO THE EYES OF THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN MONSTER!!!!! I WILL BRING YOU DOWN, BIGELOW!!!!! IT’S TME!!! IT’S TIME!!!! IT’S VADER TIME!!!!

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IT’S RAVEN!!!!

Raven: Saturn, Kronus, you will get what you seek. But are you going to have your soul when all this is through? You will get what you want. But at what cost? Will you ever be the same? Quote the Raven… nevermore.

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IT’S ‘THE WRESTLING MACHINE’ GARY ALBRIGHT!!!!!

Gary Albright: Masa Chono, you’ve had that International Heavyweight Title for a long time. You’ve beaten a lot of people. Hayabusa, Sabu, Fujinami and Mutoh have all fallen before you. The bad news for you is that all of those guys – well, they aren’t The Wrestling Machine Gary Albright! You will lose that title at Barely Legal ’96.

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IT’S THE NEW WORLD LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION SABU!!!!!

Sabu does say anything. He just grimaces at the camera and holds up his newly won championship belt.

The new champion slings the belt over his shoulder and now points to the sky.

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IT’S TAZ AND HIS NEW AGENT PAUL HEYMAN!!!!!!

Paul Heyman: Mikey, oh poor Mikey! Next week, you pay for the sins of your mentor. Next week, you become the next victim of the Path of Rage. Next week, TAZ CHOKES YOU OUT!!!!!

Taz: Mikey Whipwreck – THE GIANT SLAYER – beat me if you can!!!!! SURVIVE… IF… I … LET YOU!!!!!!!

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IT’S MIKEY WHIPWRECK!!!!

Mikey Whipwreck: Taz, everyone says I should be afraid of you. The truth is, I kind of am. But next week, I won’t be fighting for myself. I’ll be fighting for my friend, my mentor, Terry Funk. I might not make it out of this one, but if I go down, I will give you every bit of hell I have in my body! And Paul Heyman, I promise, you WILL get what’s coming to you!


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IT’S THE PUBLIC ENEMY!!!!!

‘Flyboy’ Rocco Rock: Hey Johnny?

Johnny Grunge: Yeah, Rocco.

‘Flyboy’ Rocco Rock: We’re finally here in Xtreme Pro Wrestling!

Johnny Grunge: I know, Rocco! I know!

‘Flyboy’ Rocco Rock: Man, Johnny, look at all them teams they got here! They got The Eliminators – those dudes is nuts, Johnny. They got that Kurt Cobain lookalike Raven and Stevie Richards. Stevie’s a bitch, Johnny!

Johnny Grunge: A straight-up bitch, Rocco!

‘Flyboy’ Rocco Rock: They got the FBI? Man, Johnny, I ain’t never liked no police!!!!!

Johnny Grunge: No, no, Rocco. They ain’t police. They’re like the Goodfellas, Rocco!

‘Flyboy’ Rocco Rock: You mean, they like The Godfather?

Johnny Grunge: Yeah, that’s it Rocco!

‘Flyboy’ Rocco Rock: I ain’t afraid of sleepin’ with the fishes Johnny!

Johnny Grunge: I done it a few times before, Rocco!

‘Flyboy’ Rocco Rock: Well Johnny, we’re here now. Ain’t no party like a Public Enemy party. And Johnny – WE’RE GOING TO THE TOP OF THE WORLD!!!!!

Johnny Grunge: TOP OF THE WORLD ROCOO!!!!

‘Flyboy’ Rocco Rock: Xtreme Pro Wrestling – get ready – because this is one drive by that you ain’t never gonna forget!!!!!

© XTREME PRO WRESTLING, 1996

[jackknight]

Commish said:

EXTREME WARFARE
3/29/1996
FROM THE OLYMPIC AUDITORIUM
IN LOS ANGELES, CA!!!!!!!!

Joey Styles is standing in the middle of the ring at the Olympic Auditorium in Los Angeles. Joey welcomes everyone to this edition of Extreme Warfare. He talks about last week’s show, where we crowned a new World Light Heavyweight Title in Sabu. Tonight, we will have a Fatal Four Way match to crown the number-one contender: Little Guido Maritato vs. Blitzkrieg vs. Alex Wright vs. Jushin Thunder Lyger. Joey talks about Paul Heyman and Taz’s declaration of war Xtreme Pro Wrestling. There is a man in professional wrestling who opposes that idea – and he is here tonight!

'Born to be Wild'



CACTUS JACK!!!

The fans are on their feet as Cactus Jack makes his way down the ramp down to the ring and he gives everyone a “Bang Bang” before taking the microphone from Joey Styles.

CACTUS JACK: Joey Styles, for a long time now I have wanted to make my way to Xtreme Pro Wrestling. This is a place where men break bones, bleed and risk their very lives to give these people in the crowd the best damn show possible. That’s home for Cactus Jack! But I’m here tonight to send a message directly to Paul Heyman and Taz.

A lot of people here in Xtreme Pro Wrestling seem to be afraid you. After all, you’re the man who ran off the legendary Terry Funk! It’s well known that Terry and I have beat the hell out each other from one end of this earth to the other. Terry Funk is a man I respect. I will be damned if I let Taz make his name off Terry Funk’s back! Taz, if you want a fight, you’ve got one. I signed on the dotted line – you’re facing ME at Barely Legal ’96! Be prepared… for TRUTH AND CONSEQUENCES! BANG! BANG!

‘Mr. Wrestling’ Mike Rotundo is on a crusade to clean up Xtreme Pro Wrestling – and his quest starts tonight with ‘Outlaw’ Joel Dealton. Deaton tries to brawl with Rotundo and gets the better of him early on, until Mr. Wrestling ducks a lariat and comes off the opposite side with a chop block to the knee. Rotundo then connects with a fireman’s slam and then applies the Indian Death lock. Deaton fights it, but eventually has no choice but to submit.

WINNER: ‘MR. WRESTLING’ MIKE ROTUNDO

Paul Heyman and Taz are standing backstage with Malia Hosaka. Heyman talks about how he used to have respect for Cactus Jack. Cactus used to be a wild-man who could not be controlled – he was a truly dangerous force. However, the most dangerous man in all sports today is The Human Suplex Machine Taz. Cactus Jack has been thrown through tables, hit over the head with chairs and even lit on fire, but he will still tap out to the Taz Mission! Taz tells Cactus Jack that he should have let the legacy of Terry Funk die. Now, it’ll be the legacies of both Funk and Cactus Jack who become victims of the Path or Rage. But tonight, it’s Mikey Whipwreck’s turn!

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COMMERCIAL BREAK #1
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Disco Inferno is joined in the ring prior to the match by his fellow Full Blooded Italians member Big Vito and ‘The Big Don’ Tommy Rich. His opponent Pulsar is making his debut here in Xtreme Pro Wrestling, with Joey Styles revealing that little is known about this masked man. Pulsar really gets the crowd going as he uses his aerial arsenal to constantly keep the momentum. Disco suffers a flying head-scissors, a Northern Lights Suplex and a leaping frankensteiner.

Big Vito gets up on the apron to try to distract the referee, while The Big Don rants and raves on the floor. Pulsar responds by spring-boarding off the ropes with a dropkick on Big Vito, sending him tumbling down onto Tommy Rich on the floor. Disco attacks Pulsar from behind as he works him over, but Pulsar blocks a suplex attempt. Pulsar turns it into a spinning neck-breaker and then connects with a cradle pile-driver! Pulsar makes the cover to get the three count! A successful debut for Pulsar here in XPW!

WINNER: PULSAR

Shane Douglas and his valet Francine are standing on the pier at Venice Beach. Douglas boasts that Los Angeles is a city where a champion like he belongs. The city of lights, the city of superstars! The only thing missing is the Extreme Heavyweight Title. Douglas promises to rectify that at Barely Legal ’96 when he makes Ron Simmons the ultimate ‘lame duck’ champion. Shane lets Francine strut around in her bikini – and then he closes by saying he will be cheering for ‘good friend’ Bam Bam Bigelow when he takes on Vader! Douglas predicts Barely Legal ’96 will be a big night for both of them.

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COMMERCIAL BREAK #2
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VTR: COMING TO BARELY LEGAL ’96 LIVE ON PAY PER VIEW!!!!!



DAN ‘THE BEAST’ SEVERN!!!!!!!!

Abdullah the Butcher is back on Extreme Warfare after a few-month absence and he is thrown right back into the fire against the Sandman, who has Chastity in his corner. Sandman and Abdullah brawl around the ring and this one really never gets underway. The Butcher pulls out the fork and begins jabbing at Sandman, who starts gushing blood all over the ringside area.

Chastity grabs a steel chair and tries to bring it to the bleeding Sandman, but Abdullah shoves her to the canvas. The Butcher then drills Sandman with the chair, knocking him out to the apron. These two brawls fight all the way up the ramp, until they are finally broken up by security. Joey Styles predicts that we haven’t seen the end of these two men beating the hell out of each together.

WINNER: NO CONTEST

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COMMERCIAL BREAK #3
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Extreme Tag Team Champions Raven and Stevie Richards make their out to the ring. Stevie gets on the microphone and announces that the mystery duo facing The Eliminators tonight are two men who wish to join Raven’s Nest – Angry Amish Roadkill and Kid Kaos. Stevie barks at them to ‘get the job done’ if they want a spot in the Nest. Raven then joins Joey Styles on commentary, but doesn’t respond to any of his questions throughout the match.

Kronus and Saturn storm down to the ring and basically beat the crap out of Kid Kaos and Roadkill. Kaos takes the worst of it as he takes a Doctor Bomb from Kronus and then a flying elbow drop from Saturn, giving The Eliminators the win. Saturn gets on the microphone after the match and tells Raven to prove he’s not a coward by facing the Eliminators now!

Raven stands up from the desk, turns… and leaves through the crowd! Stevie Richards scurries away as well as Saturn and Kronus drill the hapless Kid Kaos with the Total Elimination!

WINNERS: THE ELIMINATORS

‘The Beast from the East’ Bam Bam Bigelow is standing from the XPW. Bigelow is going to keep this short and sweet. The battle of the bulls has been signed for Barely Legal ’96. Bigelow is sick and tired of hearing about Vader being the most dominating wrestler in the sport. On April 21 on Pay Per Viw, Bam Bam Bigelow is going to punk Vader out by personally delivering an Asbury Park ass-kicking.

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COMMECIAL BREAK #4
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This is a crazy match, which goes through two commercial breaks. Lyger is actually the one to slow things down as he scores a series of near-falls on Wright with a Lyger-Bomb on and flying leg drop. Little Guido gets into play as he connects with an enziguri on Lyger, only to get taken out by flying frankensteiner by Blitzkrieg.

Blitzkrieg covers Little Guido, but Alex Wright is over to break up the pin. Alex Wright connects with a German suplex and he bridges it into a pin – which is broken up as Lyger comes off the top rope with a senton on both of them. Little Guido charges Lyger, but ends up back-dropped all the way out to the floor. Jushin then climbs up to the rope and hits the Lyger Press on Alex Wright to score the three count!

Jushin Thunder Lyger earns a title shot against former partner Sabu at Barely Legal ’96. Sabu comes out onto the ramp after the match and points to the sky as Lyger nods his head. He motions that he wants the title belt.

WINNER: JUSHIN THUNDER LYGER

Joey Styles announces that the match between Mikey Whipwreck and Taz is coming up next here on Extreme Warfare!

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COMMERCIAL BREAK #7
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Mikey Whipwreck has become something of a giant killer, with wins over the likes of Sycho Sid and Kamala. His opponent tonight is The Human Suplex Machine Taz, who injured Mikey’s mentor Terry Funk. Whipwreck comes out fighting and he throws everything he has at Taz. Paul Heyman even begins to look concerned as Mikey connects with a moon-sault that scores a near fall.

Taz is looking dazed as Mikey boots him in the gut and goes for the Whipper Snapper, but Taz waistlocks him and connects with a German Taz Plex! Taz goes for the cover, but somehow Mikey is able to kick out. Taz now drags Mikey to his feet and hits a belly-to-belly Taz Plez. Taz covers again, but Mikey once again is able to kick out!

Whipwreck is showing tremendous heart here as struggles to get to his feet, while Taz perches. Mikey finally turns around and gets caught in a Northern Lights Taz Plex – but again Mikey kicks out! Taz and Heyman are stunned by Mikey’s resilience, but Taz is right back on Mikey with right hands to the chin.

Mikey is out on his feet here, but maybe not as he connects with a DDT as Taz pulls him in. Whipwreck crawls over for the cover, but Taz grabs him and now he applies the Taz Mission! Mikey struggles and struggles here, but eventually has no choice but to tap out! Joey Styles puts over Mikey Whipwreck’s heart for giving everything he had in this match.

Paul Heyman now steps into the ring and he is ordering Taz to keep the hold locked on! Taz is trying to seriously injure Mikey Whipwreck – BUT HERE COMES CACTUS JACK WITH A CHAIR IN HAND! Heyman clears out as Taz shoots up, only to get a chair upside the head! Cactus now connects with the Double Arm DDT, leading Taz to roll out to the floor. Paul Heyman grabs Bob Artese’s microphone.

PAUL HEYMAN: Cactus Jack – BE REAL PROUD OF YOURSELF! You made quite a stand tonight. But will you do the same next week – WHEN YOU FACE THE ONE MAN GANG AND ‘PRIME TIME’ BRIAN LEE IN A HANDICAP MATCH??? I CAN’T WAIT TO FIND OUT!!!!!!

A concerned Cactus Jack tends to Mikey Whipwreck as Joey Styles wraps up this week’s show…

WINNER: TAZ

Pulp Fiction Soundtrack - Opening Theme (Dick Dale and His Del Tones - Miserlou)

It’s Extreme Heavyweight Champion Ron Simmons and Butch Reed.

RON SIMMONS: Next week Butch, you got Shane Douglas in the ring. You gonna whoop his ass, right?

BUTCH REED: Brother, don’t you worry. I don’t treat you with disrespect like all these fools that run XPW. I’ll whoop that white boy’s ass, but I’ll leave you just enough to finish him off at Barely Legal ’96!

RON SIMMONS: I like it Butch. Don’t worry, I got your back just like you’ve had mine!

CUT TO

It’s World Light Heavyweight Champion Sabu!

Sabu flings his championship belt over his shoulder and then points to the sky.

CUT TO

It’s The Eliminators!

SATURN: Raven, you want to play games with us? That’s fine. Play all the games you want. It won’t stop you from getting what you deserve live on Pay Per View at Barely Legal ’96. You can’t stop it – you will face TOTAL ELIMINATION! And we’ll take your belts.

CUT TO

It’s Balls Mahoney!

BALLS MAHONEY: Mike Rotun-ah, you wanna call yerself Mr Wresslin? We’ll see how much your wresslin really helps when I bust a damn chair over ya’ friggin head!

CUT TO

It’s Cactus Jack and Mikey Whipwreck!

CACTUS JACK: Mikey, you might not have got your hand raised, but Terry Funk was right about you. You got heart, Mikey.

MIKEY WHIPWRECK: I thought I had ‘em Cactus.

CACTUS JACK: One day, Mikey. One day you’ll beat him. Mikey, Terry asked me one favor – he asked me to watch your back. After seeing you tonight, you don’t need watching your back. But I’ll still be there. And as for you Taz, I think it was about time you had a little of your own medicine JAMMED DOWN YOUR THROAT!!!

MIKEY WHIPWRECK: But Cactus – what about next week? What about Brian lee and the One Man Gang?

CACTUS JACK: I don’t know, Mikey. But I’ll find a way because… I’M HARDCORE!!!! BANG BANG!!!!!

CUT TO

It’s The Public Enemy!

JOHNNY GRUNGE: Hey Rocco…

ROCCO ROCK: What Johnny?

JOHNNY GRUNGE: Rocco, it looks like there ain’t no team in the Xtreme Pro Wrestling who wants to take it to the streets with us!

ROCCO ROCK: Don’t you worry, Johnny. If they don’t bring the fight us to, we’ll bring the fight to all of them!

The large down behind them swings open, knocking Johnny Grunge over! The Public Enemy are then jumped by…

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THE GANGSTAS!!!!!!!

IT’S NEW JACK!!!! IT’S MUSTAFA!!!! IT’S THE GANGSTAS!!!!! The Public Enemy and The Gangstas begin brawling and beat the heck out of each other, until New Jack grabs a baseball bat from his cart and drills Johnny Grunge with it!

New Jack tosses the bat to Mustafa, who brings the bat down across the back of Flyboy Rocco Rock! The Gangstas stomp the hell out of The Public Enemy and then New Jack turns to the camera.

NEW JACK: I guess we just brought the damn fight to you two punks, didn’t we? We ain’t no wannabes like you two white boy suckas. New Jack and Mustafa don’t play that s**t! THE GANGSTAS ARE HERE IN XPW… AND WE TAKIN’ IT TO THE EXTREEEEEEEEME!!!!!!

© XTREME PRO WRESTLING, 1996