WWF SUMMERSLAM '87: HOGAN V JAKE, PIPER V DIBIASE
Aug 27, 2016 20:51:34 GMT
Post by thecommish on Aug 27, 2016 20:51:34 GMT
World Wrestling Federation
- presents -
SUMMERSLAM
Live on Pay-Per-View!
New York City, NY
Madison Square Garden
Your hosts: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse ‘The Body’ Ventura and ‘Mean’ Gene Okerlund
(We go to Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura ringside at the MECCA of the WWF)
Gorilla Monsoon: Hello and welcome everyone to SummerSlam - the night we’ve all been waiting for. I’m Gorilla Monsoon, and joining me tonight is Jesse ‘The Body’ Ventura. What a night it’s going to be Jess!
Jesse Ventura: Gino, I just can’t wait to see the looks on all of your faces when Hulk Hogan proves he’s the coward I always knew he was and never shows up! Hogan ain’t coming, Monsoon!
Gorilla Monsoon: Gimme a break Jess! The Hulkster will be here and Jake ‘The Snake’ Roberts is in a lot of trouble. Don’t forget, the big guy Andre the Giant, is here as well to be the special enforcer when the Million Dollar Man puts the title on the line against ‘Rowdy’ Roddy Piper. Right now, let’s go to the ring for a very very special surprise!
Howard Finkel: “The following contestant is scheduled for one fall. In the ring at this time, from Chicago, Illinois and weighing in at 262lbs, the Illustrious Jonnie Stewart! Annnnnnnnd hiiiiiiiis opponent…”
IT’S THE SUPERFLY!!!
JIMMY SNUKA IS BACK IN THE WWF!!!!
‘ILLUSTRIOUS’ JONNIE STEWART VS. ‘SUPERFLY’ JIMMY SNUKA
The fans are going wild for the Phenom of the World Wrestling Federation, who is making his first appearance in quite a long time. This one is all Snuka as Stewart bumps like a wild man for him, just the like true pro he is. Snuka comes off the top rope with the Superfly Splash to score the three count. A successful return for the Superffly!
WINNER: SUPERFLY JIMMY SNUKA
Gorilla Monsoon: The Superfly is looking better than ever, Jess. Right now, ‘Mean’ Gene Okerlund is standing by with the Colonel and his team.
(Cut to ‘Mean’ Gene Okerlund standing with ‘Mouth of the South’ Jimmy Hart, The Honky Tonk Man and the Nasty Boys)
‘Mean’ Gene Okerlund: Thank you very much, Gorilla Monsoon! Joining me at this time is one Mouth of the South Jimmy Hart and the team who will face the Hart Foundation and Brutus ‘The Barber’ Beefcake in just a few moments time!
Jimmy Hart: I can’t believe it, baby! Haven’t the Nasty Boys embarrassed the Anvil and the Hitman enough already - now they’re asking for it! Baby, the Honky Tonk Man and the Nasty Boys are gonna play a real mean tune on your heads!
Honky Tonk Man: Mean Gene, the Honky Tonk Man is sick and tired of this pathetic Jon Peters wannabe Brutus Beefcake cuttin’ hair. You won’t be cuttin’ the Honky Tonk Man’s beautiful hair, Beefcake. That’s why the Honky Tonk Man’s got the Nasty Boys by his side.
Brian Knobbs: Hart Foundation! Beefcake! You’re in for a nasty sensation!
‘Mean’ Gene Okerlund: Let’s go up to the ring!
(Cut to Howard Finkel in the ring)
HONKY TONK MAN & THE NASTY BOYS (w/ Jimmy Hart) VS. HART FOUNDATION & BRUTUS BEEFCAKE
This one is a melee right away with all six fighting in the ring, until the Harts clear the ring by clotheslining both Nasty Boys over the top rope and the Barber atomic dropping Honky to the outside. Once the action finally gets under way, the Nasties and Honky Tonk take the advantage by isolating Beefcake on their side of the ring.
Honky scores a very near fall with a knee drop off the ropes, but Beefcake dodges when Honky goes for a second one. Brutus leaps into his corner to tag Jim ‘The Anvil’ Neidhart, who comes in like a house of fire on Honky and both Nasties. In the end, all six are brawling again when Brutus catches Jerry Sags with the Sleeper and it’s only a minute or before the Nasty Boy is out! After the match, Brutus snips a little of Sags’ mullet, before Knobbs and the Honky Tonk Man pull him out to the floor.
WINNERS: HART FOUNDATION & BRUTUS ‘THE BARBER’ BEEFCAKE
(Cut to ‘Mean’ Gene Oklerlund with Big John Studd)
‘Mean’ Gene Okerlund: Big John Studd, you’re essentially here as a bounty hunter here tonight. Bobby ‘The Brain’ Heenan is paying you lots of money to take out ‘Macho Man’ Randy Savage.
Big John Studd: That’s right - I’ve been paid lots of greenbacks. When Big John Studd gets paid to do a job - no matter how dirty it is - he gets it done. That’s bad news for you Savage. And I’m warning you, keep that woman out of my way too - if you know what’s good for her! Har har har!
‘Mean’ Gene Okerlund: It’s going to be a big one - no pun intended!
(Cut to Howard Finkel in the ring)
BIG JOHN STUDD VS. ‘MACHO MAN’ RANDY SAVAGE (w/ Miss Elizabeth)
‘Macho Man’ Randy Savage is out to quite an ovation from the fans here in Madison Square Garden, making sure to keep Miss Elizabeth behind him and away from Studd. Savage tries the hit and run strategy early on, with only limited effect. Studd finally catches him and traps the Macho Man into a choke hold until referee Earl Hebner forces a break. Big John Studd has Savage in the corner is laying into the Macho Man with those massive forearms, before suplexing him to the canvas. That should be it as Studd covers, but Savage powers out at two! A glimmer of a smile flashes on the worried Miss Elizabeth’s face as Savage shoots that right shoulder up.
Big John Studd works over Randy Savage for several minutes and then hurls him into the corner. Big John Studd charges with a head of steam on a shoulder block, but Savage gets out of the away! A stunned Studd is ripe to actually be picked up and body-slammed by the Macho Man! Incredible! Savage is favouring his back after that one, but he scales the top rope and flies off with the elbow drop. Macho Man hooks the leg as covers for the one… two… three! Randy Savage has slain the giant - and ruined Bobby Heenan’s bounty plot! Savage and Elizabeth celebrate on the floor after the match.
WINNER: ‘MACHO MAN’ RANDY SAVAGE
(Cut to ‘Mean’ Gene Okerlund and Bobby Heenan)
‘Mean’ Gene Okerlund: Bobby Heenan, your plan failed! Another setback for the Heenan Family!
Bobby Heenan: Listen cueball, ‘Macho Man’ Randy Savage can celebrate with that cheap floozy all he wants. It’s not over between Bobby Heenan and the Macho Man. As for you and all these humanoids laughing at me, all I’ll say is that the Brain will have the last last laugh tonight!
‘Mean’ Gene Okerlund: What’s that supposed to mean, Brain?
Bobby Heenan: None of your business, Okerlund.
(Cut to Howard Finkel in the ring)
THE BRITISH BULLDOGS VS. THE TWIN TOWERS (w/ Slick)
Nobody doubts Davey Boy Smith and Dynamite Kid as one of the most exciting teams in the World Wrestling Federation today - but they really have their work cut out for them against the Slick’s much larger Bam Bam Bigelow and Akeem here at SummerSlam. Bulldogs put up a heck of a fight, even managing to take Akeem off his feet with a double dropkick.
However, the Beast from the Beast is an utter monster as he mauls Dynamite Kid once Akeem makes the tag. Bigelow presses Dynamite above his head twice, before driving the Kid down on his knee. Bigelow hits the ropes - senton splash! It should be over, but it’s actually Bigelow who viciously yanks Dynamite up. Bigelow now up top - the flying headbutt! It’s over - but actually tags in Akeem, who hits the ropes for the 747 to get the three count! ‘The Doctor of Style’ Slick is juking and jiving with joy around ringside after the match.
WINNERS: THE TWIN TOWERS
(Cut to ‘Mean’ Gene Okerlund standing by Larry Zbyszko)
‘Mean’ Gene Okerlund: Living Legend, this is your final shot at trying to win back the World Wrestling Federation Intercontinental Championship. To do so, you have the unenviable task of facing the Ultimate Warrior!
Larry Zbyszko: I guess you can call it Larry’s Last Stand. I have nobody in my corner, it’s all on the Legend’s shoulders. Well Warrior, if this is Larry’s Last Stand, just imagine what I’m going to do to you. You’ll be sucking wind and begging for mercy like the Ultimate Spudhead you are!
‘Mean’ Gene Okerlund: Larry’s Last Stand… coming up next!
(Cut to Howard Finkel in the ring)
WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP
ULTIMATE WARRIOR © VS. LARRY ZBYSZKO
If it’s Larry’s Last Stand, consider the Living Legend to be the General Custer of the World Wrestling Federation. Literally nothing he does has any effect on the Ultimate Warrior, who throws him around the ring like a ragdoll. Warrior hits the ropes and bulldozes Zbyszko with a flying shoulder block.
Ultimate Warrior pulls Zbyszko up, presses him above his head three times and lets him drop to the canvas with a sickening thud. The Intercontinental Champion hits the ropes and connects with the flying splash across Larry’s back. Warrior turns Zbyszko over and gets the automatic three count for a successful title defence. Larry has to be carried out of the ring by officials as Warrior celebrates his win by shaking the ropes and pumping his arms.
WINNER: WWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION ULTIMATE WARRIOR
[VTR]
VINCE MCMAHON (voiceover): IT’S THE THANKSGIVING CLASSIC! THIS THANKSGIVING NIGHT, THE SUPERSTARS OF THE WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION WILL COLLIDE… IN THE SURVIVOOOOOOOOOOOOOR SEEEEEEEEEEEEERIES! CALL YOUR LOCAL CABLE COMPANIES NOW!
[End VTR]
(Cut to Howard Finkel in the ring)
WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
DEMOLITION © (w/ Mr. Fuji) VS. THE ROCKERS
Shawn Michaels and Marty Jannetty have the fans in Madison Square Garden on their feet, as they finally get a shot to regain the World Wrestling Federation Tag Team Championships. Michaels and Jannetty have trouble early on making their speed useful against Demolition, who do their usual no-selling job on the right hands and kicks from the Rockers. However, a flying forearm for Michaels takes Smash off his feet.
Shawn Michaels comes off the ropes, but he’s tripped up by Mr. Fuji! Referee Joey Marella warns Fuji as Smash makes the tag. Demolition simultaneously bash Michaels across the back with repeated axe-handle smashes! Ax now shoots Michaels off the ropes and connects with a knee to the gut, and then a gutwrench suplex for a two count.
Demolition make tags to isolate Michaels, as Jannetty rallies the fans behind his partner. Demolition now shoot Michaels off the ropes for a double clothesline, but Shawn rolls under it and leaps into his corner for the hot tag! Marty Jannetty comes in with dropkicks on both Demolition members. Marty with the cover on Smash for a very close two count! Jannetty now signals for the Rocker Dropper, but Ax from behind levels him!
An exhausted Shawn Michaels rushes back into the ring but is booted by Ax. Smash then plants Jannetty with a back-breaker and Ax comes off the second rope with the big elbow drop across the chest. Demolition Decapitation! Smash with the cover he gets the one… two… three! Demolition retain the gold - but what a display of intestinal fortitude by the Rockers!
WINNERS: WWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS DEMOLITION
(Cut to ‘Mean’ Gene Okerlund with ‘Rowdy’ Roddy Piper)
‘Mean’ Gene Okerlund: Hot Rod, with Andre the Giant outside the ring as the special enforcer - you will get what most of the Million Dollar Man’s opponents haven’t - a fair shot at his World Wrestling Federation Championship!
‘Rowdy’ Roddy Piper: You hear that, Dibiase? No throwin’ your money around tonight, my boy. Fee-fi-fo-fum… don’t mess with the Giant and the Hot Rod, you scum! As for you Andre, there’s lots of water under the bridge, man. All you gotta do is stand out there, do your job and I’ll take the Million Dollar Man apart all by myself! Dibiase, not even your millions are gonna get you out of this one!
‘Mean’ Gene Okerlund: The World Wrestling Federation Title is on the line… right now!
(Cut to Howard Finkel in the ring)
Howard Finkel: “The following contestant is scheduled for one fall with a 60 minute time limit, and is for the World Wrestling Federation Championship! Making his way down the aisle at this time…”
HERE COMES THE CHALLENGER, ‘ROWDY’ RODDY PIPER!
Howard Finkel: “And now, his opponent! Making his summer residence in Hyannis Port, Massachusetts, the World Wrestling Federation Champion…”
WWF CHAMPION THE MILLION DOLLAR MAN AND VIRGIL ARE ON THEIR WAY TO THE RING!
Howard Finkel: “Now, the man outside the ring as a specially appointed enforcer, he is the Eighth Wonder of the World…”
ANDRE THE GIANT IS HERE IN MSG!!!
WORLD WORLD FEDERATION CHAMPIONSHIP
SPECIAL ENFORCER: ANDRE THE GIANT
THE MILLION DOLLAR MAN (w/ Virgil) VS. ‘ROWDY’ RODDY PIPER
Andre the Giant stands with his arms folded in the aisle way, staring directly at Virgil. Jesse Ventura complains that Andre already looks like he’s going to pick a fight with Virgil, who has done absolutely nothing wrong. Nothing wrong yet, Gorilla Monsoon adds. Once the match gets under way, Dibiase tries to stall every time Piper wants to lock up. Piper finally just pokes him in the eye and then pulls the Million Dollar Man into a side headlock. Andre chuckles out on the floor as Piper really wrenches back on the hold and lets it veer into a choke when referee Joey Marella isn’t quite checking.
However, the Million Dollar Man does manage to throw Piper off and then drill him with a knee lift. Dibiase keeps control early on and he manages to hit a fist drop for the second turnbuckle that almost puts Roddy Piper away just past the seven-minute mark. However, Roddy Piper is able to duck a clothesline and he drills Million Dollar Man with a big chop block to the knee.
Roddy Piper grabs Dibiase by the hair and slams him head first into the turnbuckle nearly ten times and then connects with a short-arm clothesline. The force behind the blow causes Million Dollar Man to flip backwards and crash into the canvas, and Piper is right on top of him with a big elbow smash. Roddy Piper then climbs up to the second rope and goes for the big knee drop, but Million Dollar Man rolls out of the way at the last minute. Dibiase pulls himself up and then kicks Roddy Piper on the back of the knee a few times, before quickly scaling the second rope himself. Hot Rod slowly gets back to his feet and when he turns around, Million Dollar Man flies off the top and connects with a double sledge! Dibiase stays on top for the cover and hooks the leg, but somehow Piper is able to kick out just before the three count.
Once Roddy staggers up, Dibiase approaches from behind and he locks in the Million Dollar Dream! It could be over here, if Dibiase gets the Dream locked in tight. However, Roddy Piper charges forward towards the turnbuckle, and he manages to duck down just in time and Million Dollar Man smashes his head into the top turnbuckle. Dibiase flies backwards and he is trying to shake off the effects of that blow to the head, but Piper grabs him and then executes two right hands in a row. Down goes Million Dollar Man!
Virgil hops on the apron to interfere, but look at this! Andre grabs Virgil by the collar and hoists him into the air! Andre The Giant now drops Virgil into the aisle way - and he’s ordering him to leave! Virgil tries to face off with Andre, but the Giant raises his arm and Virgil backs away! Virgil is being banned from ringside!
In the ring, Dibiase is on his knees begging for mercy as Piper just smiles Roddy grabs the Million Dollar Man by the head - but Dibiase headbutts him in the gut. Million Dollar Man goes to whip Dibiase into the corner, Piper reverses, and then Dibiase with a reversal of his own and sends Roddy plowing into referee Joey Marella! The referee is down! Look at this, the Million Dollar Man rolls out to the floor and grabs the WWF Championship!
Million Dollar Man has the title and he rolls back into the ring. Dibiase winds up with belt as Andre steps onto the apron. Terror strikes Dibiase as he backs up and holds one hand up like he’s not doing anything. The camera then pans to the aisle way…
BOBBY HEENAN! WHAT’S HE DOING HERE?!
Roddy Piper is up now and he sees Andre menacing Dibiase and he just smiles. Piper notices the fans booing and sees Bobby Heenan at ringside. Piper taps Andre on the shoulder and points to Heena. Andre turns around, looks at Heenan and then back at Piper...
ANDRE GRABS RODDY AND HE’S CHOKING HIM!!!!!
ANDRE IS CHOKING THE LIFE OUT OF RODDY PIPER!!!!!
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS ALL ABOUT?!
Gorilla Monsoon is losing his mind as Jesse Ventura takes utter glee at Andre throttling the life out of the Hot Rod. Andre has Piper in the corner and is absolutely choking the life out of the Rowdy Scot! Dibiase just kicks back now and cackles his signature cackle! Piper is completely out of here as Andre hurls a lifeless Hot Rod to the canvas. Andre now pulls Joey Marella up by his shirt and slaps his face twice to wake him up - and throws Marellaover to the canvas where Dibiase has Piper pinned. A groggy Joey Marella makes the count for the one… two… three! What has just happened here?
In the aisle now, a smiling Bobby Heenan holds his hand out to Andre… and the Giant raises the Brain's arm in the air! This is what Bobby Heenan was talking about - he and the Million Dollar Man have bought off Andre the Giant! Heenan raises Andre’s arm high in the air and then laughs maniacally with the Million Dollar Man as they walk off.
‘Rowdy’ Roddy Piper has to be held to his feet by referees, but he throws them all away and stumbles to the dressing room!
WINNER: WWF CHAMPION MILLION DOLLAR MAN
(‘Mean’ Gene Okerlund is standing by with Jake ‘The Snake’ Roberts)
‘Mean’ Gene Okerlund: I am stunned by what we have just seen. I tried to catch the Million Dollar Man, Virgil, Bobby Heenan and, oh my goodness, Andre the Giant as they came through the curtain but they walked right to a waiting limo just outside the Garden…
Jake Roberts: Never mind them, Gene. See, the story of the night is the Snake and Hulkamania inside the steel cage. Hogan, I’ll give you credit for two things. That red-and-yellow snake was nice - you’re playing mind games, now? Not bad. The second thing I’ll give credit for is if you actually show up here tonight. Respect goes out the window when the bell rings. The DDT put down last time, this time inside the cage, nothing can stop me from using two DDTs. Three DDTs. It’s over Hogan. Trust me.
‘Mean’ Gene Okerlund: Unbelievable! It’s time for the steel cage match!
(Cut to Howard Finkel)
Howard Finkel: The following contest is the main event of SummerSlam! It will be contested in a 15-foot high steel cage, where the only way to win is to climb over the top and touch the floor, or exit through the door. Making his to the ring at this time, from Stone Mountain Georgia, Jake ‘The Snake’ Roberts! And hiiiiiiiiiiiis oppoooooooooooooonent!”
THE HULKSTER’S MUSIC IS PLAYING - BUT LOOK WHO’S COMING OUT!!!!
IT’S BRUTUS ‘THE BARBER’ BEEFCAKE - IS IT TRUE? IS HOGAN REALLY NO-SHOWING?
Jake Roberts snickers in the cage and just shakes his head - as Jesse Ventura needles Gorilla Monsoon: "I told you Hogan didn't have the guts to actually show!" The camera pans back to a somber Beefcake, who now cracks a big grin and points to the entrance curtain. Coming through it…
IT’S THE HULKSTER!!!!! THE HULKSTER IS BACK IN THE WWF!!!!!
SUMMERSLAM MAIN EVENT:
STEEL CAGE MATCH
HULK HOGAN (w/ Brutus Beefcake) VS. JAKE ‘THE SNAKE’ ROBERTS
The roof off the Garden practically blows off as Hulk Hogan charges down to the ring, pats Beefcake on the back and then climbs the ring steps. Hogan tears off the T-shirt and storms into the cage! The Snake attacks the Hulkster once he charges the cage, with shots to the face. Hulk fights back, biting the forehead and throwing Snake into the cage. Jake stumbles to his feet and gets the big axe bomber from Hogan! The Hulkster hits the ropes and goes for the leg drop early, but Roberts rolls out of the way! A miss! Hogan gets to his feet, but Roberts pulls him into a short-arm clothesline! Roberts as Hogan in trouble and now he begins grinding Hulk’s head into the steel cage. Hogan fights back, but a low blow from Roberts! DDT!
Jake just dropped the Hulkster with a DDT! Jake says it’s over and tries to get out of the cage. The Snake gets to the door, smiles and then turns back around. He signals for another DDT!. Roberts goes to hook Hogan again, but Hulk shoves Roberts right into the cage. Hulk goes to charge now, but Roberts dodges and Hogan collides into the cage. Jake went for several cheap shots, but Hulk Hogan shrugged them all off and leveled the Snake with a hard right hand to the forehead.
As Roberts pulled himself back up, he was flung head-first into the cage by Hogan! The Hulkster grated Jake's head against the steel, drawing blood from Snake's forehead. As blood poured down Jake's forehead, Hogan spun around and managed to connect with Roberts's own deadly hold! DDT on Jake the Snake! Hulk now hits the ropes...
THE ATOMIC LEG DROP ACROSS THE CHEST OF THE SNAKE (NOT KING KONG BUNDY)!!!
The Hulkster is calling out to the people - one more! Hogan hits the rope again - another leg drop! Jake Roberts is out cold as Hulk Hogan now climbs the cage walk, with Brutus Beefcake and the fans cheering him on. Hogan is over the top as Jake stirs, sees Hogan over the top and slumps back down. Hogan drops down to the floor! What a win for the Hulkster!
Hulk Hogan is congratulated on the floor by Brutus Beefcake as ‘Real Americans’ blares. Wait look at this - Jake Roberts is calling to Hogan! He’s putting his hand out. Jake wants to shake hands?!
Brutus 'The Barber' Beefcake is telling Hogan not to do it and the fans are shouting “NO!”, but Hogan is weighing it up. Jake the Snake drops to his knees, and puts the arm behind his back - with the right arm still outstretched. Hogan - he’s going back into the cage!
Hulk Hogan cautiously approaches, looks around at the people trying to decide what to do - and he shakes Jake’s hand! No sneak attack, nothing!
Jake Roberts shakes Hogan’s hand, and then slides out of the ropes and out of the cage! Brutus Beefcake eyes the Snake as he walks by, and then joins Hogan in the cage for a posedown to end SummerSlam!
Gorilla Monsoon: What an incredible night! Hopefully we’ll have more on this disgusting Andre situation on our programming this week. We leave you now with the Hulkster - and we’ll see you at the Survivor Series!
© 1987, WWF
- presents -
SUMMERSLAM
Live on Pay-Per-View!
New York City, NY
Madison Square Garden
Your hosts: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse ‘The Body’ Ventura and ‘Mean’ Gene Okerlund
(We go to Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura ringside at the MECCA of the WWF)
Gorilla Monsoon: Hello and welcome everyone to SummerSlam - the night we’ve all been waiting for. I’m Gorilla Monsoon, and joining me tonight is Jesse ‘The Body’ Ventura. What a night it’s going to be Jess!
Jesse Ventura: Gino, I just can’t wait to see the looks on all of your faces when Hulk Hogan proves he’s the coward I always knew he was and never shows up! Hogan ain’t coming, Monsoon!
Gorilla Monsoon: Gimme a break Jess! The Hulkster will be here and Jake ‘The Snake’ Roberts is in a lot of trouble. Don’t forget, the big guy Andre the Giant, is here as well to be the special enforcer when the Million Dollar Man puts the title on the line against ‘Rowdy’ Roddy Piper. Right now, let’s go to the ring for a very very special surprise!
Howard Finkel: “The following contestant is scheduled for one fall. In the ring at this time, from Chicago, Illinois and weighing in at 262lbs, the Illustrious Jonnie Stewart! Annnnnnnnd hiiiiiiiis opponent…”
IT’S THE SUPERFLY!!!
JIMMY SNUKA IS BACK IN THE WWF!!!!
‘ILLUSTRIOUS’ JONNIE STEWART VS. ‘SUPERFLY’ JIMMY SNUKA
The fans are going wild for the Phenom of the World Wrestling Federation, who is making his first appearance in quite a long time. This one is all Snuka as Stewart bumps like a wild man for him, just the like true pro he is. Snuka comes off the top rope with the Superfly Splash to score the three count. A successful return for the Superffly!
WINNER: SUPERFLY JIMMY SNUKA
Gorilla Monsoon: The Superfly is looking better than ever, Jess. Right now, ‘Mean’ Gene Okerlund is standing by with the Colonel and his team.
(Cut to ‘Mean’ Gene Okerlund standing with ‘Mouth of the South’ Jimmy Hart, The Honky Tonk Man and the Nasty Boys)
‘Mean’ Gene Okerlund: Thank you very much, Gorilla Monsoon! Joining me at this time is one Mouth of the South Jimmy Hart and the team who will face the Hart Foundation and Brutus ‘The Barber’ Beefcake in just a few moments time!
Jimmy Hart: I can’t believe it, baby! Haven’t the Nasty Boys embarrassed the Anvil and the Hitman enough already - now they’re asking for it! Baby, the Honky Tonk Man and the Nasty Boys are gonna play a real mean tune on your heads!
Honky Tonk Man: Mean Gene, the Honky Tonk Man is sick and tired of this pathetic Jon Peters wannabe Brutus Beefcake cuttin’ hair. You won’t be cuttin’ the Honky Tonk Man’s beautiful hair, Beefcake. That’s why the Honky Tonk Man’s got the Nasty Boys by his side.
Brian Knobbs: Hart Foundation! Beefcake! You’re in for a nasty sensation!
‘Mean’ Gene Okerlund: Let’s go up to the ring!
(Cut to Howard Finkel in the ring)
HONKY TONK MAN & THE NASTY BOYS (w/ Jimmy Hart) VS. HART FOUNDATION & BRUTUS BEEFCAKE
This one is a melee right away with all six fighting in the ring, until the Harts clear the ring by clotheslining both Nasty Boys over the top rope and the Barber atomic dropping Honky to the outside. Once the action finally gets under way, the Nasties and Honky Tonk take the advantage by isolating Beefcake on their side of the ring.
Honky scores a very near fall with a knee drop off the ropes, but Beefcake dodges when Honky goes for a second one. Brutus leaps into his corner to tag Jim ‘The Anvil’ Neidhart, who comes in like a house of fire on Honky and both Nasties. In the end, all six are brawling again when Brutus catches Jerry Sags with the Sleeper and it’s only a minute or before the Nasty Boy is out! After the match, Brutus snips a little of Sags’ mullet, before Knobbs and the Honky Tonk Man pull him out to the floor.
WINNERS: HART FOUNDATION & BRUTUS ‘THE BARBER’ BEEFCAKE
(Cut to ‘Mean’ Gene Oklerlund with Big John Studd)
‘Mean’ Gene Okerlund: Big John Studd, you’re essentially here as a bounty hunter here tonight. Bobby ‘The Brain’ Heenan is paying you lots of money to take out ‘Macho Man’ Randy Savage.
Big John Studd: That’s right - I’ve been paid lots of greenbacks. When Big John Studd gets paid to do a job - no matter how dirty it is - he gets it done. That’s bad news for you Savage. And I’m warning you, keep that woman out of my way too - if you know what’s good for her! Har har har!
‘Mean’ Gene Okerlund: It’s going to be a big one - no pun intended!
(Cut to Howard Finkel in the ring)
BIG JOHN STUDD VS. ‘MACHO MAN’ RANDY SAVAGE (w/ Miss Elizabeth)
‘Macho Man’ Randy Savage is out to quite an ovation from the fans here in Madison Square Garden, making sure to keep Miss Elizabeth behind him and away from Studd. Savage tries the hit and run strategy early on, with only limited effect. Studd finally catches him and traps the Macho Man into a choke hold until referee Earl Hebner forces a break. Big John Studd has Savage in the corner is laying into the Macho Man with those massive forearms, before suplexing him to the canvas. That should be it as Studd covers, but Savage powers out at two! A glimmer of a smile flashes on the worried Miss Elizabeth’s face as Savage shoots that right shoulder up.
Big John Studd works over Randy Savage for several minutes and then hurls him into the corner. Big John Studd charges with a head of steam on a shoulder block, but Savage gets out of the away! A stunned Studd is ripe to actually be picked up and body-slammed by the Macho Man! Incredible! Savage is favouring his back after that one, but he scales the top rope and flies off with the elbow drop. Macho Man hooks the leg as covers for the one… two… three! Randy Savage has slain the giant - and ruined Bobby Heenan’s bounty plot! Savage and Elizabeth celebrate on the floor after the match.
WINNER: ‘MACHO MAN’ RANDY SAVAGE
(Cut to ‘Mean’ Gene Okerlund and Bobby Heenan)
‘Mean’ Gene Okerlund: Bobby Heenan, your plan failed! Another setback for the Heenan Family!
Bobby Heenan: Listen cueball, ‘Macho Man’ Randy Savage can celebrate with that cheap floozy all he wants. It’s not over between Bobby Heenan and the Macho Man. As for you and all these humanoids laughing at me, all I’ll say is that the Brain will have the last last laugh tonight!
‘Mean’ Gene Okerlund: What’s that supposed to mean, Brain?
Bobby Heenan: None of your business, Okerlund.
(Cut to Howard Finkel in the ring)
THE BRITISH BULLDOGS VS. THE TWIN TOWERS (w/ Slick)
Nobody doubts Davey Boy Smith and Dynamite Kid as one of the most exciting teams in the World Wrestling Federation today - but they really have their work cut out for them against the Slick’s much larger Bam Bam Bigelow and Akeem here at SummerSlam. Bulldogs put up a heck of a fight, even managing to take Akeem off his feet with a double dropkick.
However, the Beast from the Beast is an utter monster as he mauls Dynamite Kid once Akeem makes the tag. Bigelow presses Dynamite above his head twice, before driving the Kid down on his knee. Bigelow hits the ropes - senton splash! It should be over, but it’s actually Bigelow who viciously yanks Dynamite up. Bigelow now up top - the flying headbutt! It’s over - but actually tags in Akeem, who hits the ropes for the 747 to get the three count! ‘The Doctor of Style’ Slick is juking and jiving with joy around ringside after the match.
WINNERS: THE TWIN TOWERS
(Cut to ‘Mean’ Gene Okerlund standing by Larry Zbyszko)
‘Mean’ Gene Okerlund: Living Legend, this is your final shot at trying to win back the World Wrestling Federation Intercontinental Championship. To do so, you have the unenviable task of facing the Ultimate Warrior!
Larry Zbyszko: I guess you can call it Larry’s Last Stand. I have nobody in my corner, it’s all on the Legend’s shoulders. Well Warrior, if this is Larry’s Last Stand, just imagine what I’m going to do to you. You’ll be sucking wind and begging for mercy like the Ultimate Spudhead you are!
‘Mean’ Gene Okerlund: Larry’s Last Stand… coming up next!
(Cut to Howard Finkel in the ring)
WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP
ULTIMATE WARRIOR © VS. LARRY ZBYSZKO
If it’s Larry’s Last Stand, consider the Living Legend to be the General Custer of the World Wrestling Federation. Literally nothing he does has any effect on the Ultimate Warrior, who throws him around the ring like a ragdoll. Warrior hits the ropes and bulldozes Zbyszko with a flying shoulder block.
Ultimate Warrior pulls Zbyszko up, presses him above his head three times and lets him drop to the canvas with a sickening thud. The Intercontinental Champion hits the ropes and connects with the flying splash across Larry’s back. Warrior turns Zbyszko over and gets the automatic three count for a successful title defence. Larry has to be carried out of the ring by officials as Warrior celebrates his win by shaking the ropes and pumping his arms.
WINNER: WWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION ULTIMATE WARRIOR
[VTR]
VINCE MCMAHON (voiceover): IT’S THE THANKSGIVING CLASSIC! THIS THANKSGIVING NIGHT, THE SUPERSTARS OF THE WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION WILL COLLIDE… IN THE SURVIVOOOOOOOOOOOOOR SEEEEEEEEEEEEERIES! CALL YOUR LOCAL CABLE COMPANIES NOW!
[End VTR]
(Cut to Howard Finkel in the ring)
WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
DEMOLITION © (w/ Mr. Fuji) VS. THE ROCKERS
Shawn Michaels and Marty Jannetty have the fans in Madison Square Garden on their feet, as they finally get a shot to regain the World Wrestling Federation Tag Team Championships. Michaels and Jannetty have trouble early on making their speed useful against Demolition, who do their usual no-selling job on the right hands and kicks from the Rockers. However, a flying forearm for Michaels takes Smash off his feet.
Shawn Michaels comes off the ropes, but he’s tripped up by Mr. Fuji! Referee Joey Marella warns Fuji as Smash makes the tag. Demolition simultaneously bash Michaels across the back with repeated axe-handle smashes! Ax now shoots Michaels off the ropes and connects with a knee to the gut, and then a gutwrench suplex for a two count.
Demolition make tags to isolate Michaels, as Jannetty rallies the fans behind his partner. Demolition now shoot Michaels off the ropes for a double clothesline, but Shawn rolls under it and leaps into his corner for the hot tag! Marty Jannetty comes in with dropkicks on both Demolition members. Marty with the cover on Smash for a very close two count! Jannetty now signals for the Rocker Dropper, but Ax from behind levels him!
An exhausted Shawn Michaels rushes back into the ring but is booted by Ax. Smash then plants Jannetty with a back-breaker and Ax comes off the second rope with the big elbow drop across the chest. Demolition Decapitation! Smash with the cover he gets the one… two… three! Demolition retain the gold - but what a display of intestinal fortitude by the Rockers!
WINNERS: WWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS DEMOLITION
(Cut to ‘Mean’ Gene Okerlund with ‘Rowdy’ Roddy Piper)
‘Mean’ Gene Okerlund: Hot Rod, with Andre the Giant outside the ring as the special enforcer - you will get what most of the Million Dollar Man’s opponents haven’t - a fair shot at his World Wrestling Federation Championship!
‘Rowdy’ Roddy Piper: You hear that, Dibiase? No throwin’ your money around tonight, my boy. Fee-fi-fo-fum… don’t mess with the Giant and the Hot Rod, you scum! As for you Andre, there’s lots of water under the bridge, man. All you gotta do is stand out there, do your job and I’ll take the Million Dollar Man apart all by myself! Dibiase, not even your millions are gonna get you out of this one!
‘Mean’ Gene Okerlund: The World Wrestling Federation Title is on the line… right now!
(Cut to Howard Finkel in the ring)
Howard Finkel: “The following contestant is scheduled for one fall with a 60 minute time limit, and is for the World Wrestling Federation Championship! Making his way down the aisle at this time…”
HERE COMES THE CHALLENGER, ‘ROWDY’ RODDY PIPER!
Howard Finkel: “And now, his opponent! Making his summer residence in Hyannis Port, Massachusetts, the World Wrestling Federation Champion…”
WWF CHAMPION THE MILLION DOLLAR MAN AND VIRGIL ARE ON THEIR WAY TO THE RING!
Howard Finkel: “Now, the man outside the ring as a specially appointed enforcer, he is the Eighth Wonder of the World…”
ANDRE THE GIANT IS HERE IN MSG!!!
WORLD WORLD FEDERATION CHAMPIONSHIP
SPECIAL ENFORCER: ANDRE THE GIANT
THE MILLION DOLLAR MAN (w/ Virgil) VS. ‘ROWDY’ RODDY PIPER
Andre the Giant stands with his arms folded in the aisle way, staring directly at Virgil. Jesse Ventura complains that Andre already looks like he’s going to pick a fight with Virgil, who has done absolutely nothing wrong. Nothing wrong yet, Gorilla Monsoon adds. Once the match gets under way, Dibiase tries to stall every time Piper wants to lock up. Piper finally just pokes him in the eye and then pulls the Million Dollar Man into a side headlock. Andre chuckles out on the floor as Piper really wrenches back on the hold and lets it veer into a choke when referee Joey Marella isn’t quite checking.
However, the Million Dollar Man does manage to throw Piper off and then drill him with a knee lift. Dibiase keeps control early on and he manages to hit a fist drop for the second turnbuckle that almost puts Roddy Piper away just past the seven-minute mark. However, Roddy Piper is able to duck a clothesline and he drills Million Dollar Man with a big chop block to the knee.
Roddy Piper grabs Dibiase by the hair and slams him head first into the turnbuckle nearly ten times and then connects with a short-arm clothesline. The force behind the blow causes Million Dollar Man to flip backwards and crash into the canvas, and Piper is right on top of him with a big elbow smash. Roddy Piper then climbs up to the second rope and goes for the big knee drop, but Million Dollar Man rolls out of the way at the last minute. Dibiase pulls himself up and then kicks Roddy Piper on the back of the knee a few times, before quickly scaling the second rope himself. Hot Rod slowly gets back to his feet and when he turns around, Million Dollar Man flies off the top and connects with a double sledge! Dibiase stays on top for the cover and hooks the leg, but somehow Piper is able to kick out just before the three count.
Once Roddy staggers up, Dibiase approaches from behind and he locks in the Million Dollar Dream! It could be over here, if Dibiase gets the Dream locked in tight. However, Roddy Piper charges forward towards the turnbuckle, and he manages to duck down just in time and Million Dollar Man smashes his head into the top turnbuckle. Dibiase flies backwards and he is trying to shake off the effects of that blow to the head, but Piper grabs him and then executes two right hands in a row. Down goes Million Dollar Man!
Virgil hops on the apron to interfere, but look at this! Andre grabs Virgil by the collar and hoists him into the air! Andre The Giant now drops Virgil into the aisle way - and he’s ordering him to leave! Virgil tries to face off with Andre, but the Giant raises his arm and Virgil backs away! Virgil is being banned from ringside!
In the ring, Dibiase is on his knees begging for mercy as Piper just smiles Roddy grabs the Million Dollar Man by the head - but Dibiase headbutts him in the gut. Million Dollar Man goes to whip Dibiase into the corner, Piper reverses, and then Dibiase with a reversal of his own and sends Roddy plowing into referee Joey Marella! The referee is down! Look at this, the Million Dollar Man rolls out to the floor and grabs the WWF Championship!
Million Dollar Man has the title and he rolls back into the ring. Dibiase winds up with belt as Andre steps onto the apron. Terror strikes Dibiase as he backs up and holds one hand up like he’s not doing anything. The camera then pans to the aisle way…
BOBBY HEENAN! WHAT’S HE DOING HERE?!
Roddy Piper is up now and he sees Andre menacing Dibiase and he just smiles. Piper notices the fans booing and sees Bobby Heenan at ringside. Piper taps Andre on the shoulder and points to Heena. Andre turns around, looks at Heenan and then back at Piper...
ANDRE GRABS RODDY AND HE’S CHOKING HIM!!!!!
ANDRE IS CHOKING THE LIFE OUT OF RODDY PIPER!!!!!
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS ALL ABOUT?!
Gorilla Monsoon is losing his mind as Jesse Ventura takes utter glee at Andre throttling the life out of the Hot Rod. Andre has Piper in the corner and is absolutely choking the life out of the Rowdy Scot! Dibiase just kicks back now and cackles his signature cackle! Piper is completely out of here as Andre hurls a lifeless Hot Rod to the canvas. Andre now pulls Joey Marella up by his shirt and slaps his face twice to wake him up - and throws Marellaover to the canvas where Dibiase has Piper pinned. A groggy Joey Marella makes the count for the one… two… three! What has just happened here?
In the aisle now, a smiling Bobby Heenan holds his hand out to Andre… and the Giant raises the Brain's arm in the air! This is what Bobby Heenan was talking about - he and the Million Dollar Man have bought off Andre the Giant! Heenan raises Andre’s arm high in the air and then laughs maniacally with the Million Dollar Man as they walk off.
‘Rowdy’ Roddy Piper has to be held to his feet by referees, but he throws them all away and stumbles to the dressing room!
WINNER: WWF CHAMPION MILLION DOLLAR MAN
(‘Mean’ Gene Okerlund is standing by with Jake ‘The Snake’ Roberts)
‘Mean’ Gene Okerlund: I am stunned by what we have just seen. I tried to catch the Million Dollar Man, Virgil, Bobby Heenan and, oh my goodness, Andre the Giant as they came through the curtain but they walked right to a waiting limo just outside the Garden…
Jake Roberts: Never mind them, Gene. See, the story of the night is the Snake and Hulkamania inside the steel cage. Hogan, I’ll give you credit for two things. That red-and-yellow snake was nice - you’re playing mind games, now? Not bad. The second thing I’ll give credit for is if you actually show up here tonight. Respect goes out the window when the bell rings. The DDT put down last time, this time inside the cage, nothing can stop me from using two DDTs. Three DDTs. It’s over Hogan. Trust me.
‘Mean’ Gene Okerlund: Unbelievable! It’s time for the steel cage match!
(Cut to Howard Finkel)
Howard Finkel: The following contest is the main event of SummerSlam! It will be contested in a 15-foot high steel cage, where the only way to win is to climb over the top and touch the floor, or exit through the door. Making his to the ring at this time, from Stone Mountain Georgia, Jake ‘The Snake’ Roberts! And hiiiiiiiiiiiis oppoooooooooooooonent!”
THE HULKSTER’S MUSIC IS PLAYING - BUT LOOK WHO’S COMING OUT!!!!
IT’S BRUTUS ‘THE BARBER’ BEEFCAKE - IS IT TRUE? IS HOGAN REALLY NO-SHOWING?
Jake Roberts snickers in the cage and just shakes his head - as Jesse Ventura needles Gorilla Monsoon: "I told you Hogan didn't have the guts to actually show!" The camera pans back to a somber Beefcake, who now cracks a big grin and points to the entrance curtain. Coming through it…
IT’S THE HULKSTER!!!!! THE HULKSTER IS BACK IN THE WWF!!!!!
SUMMERSLAM MAIN EVENT:
STEEL CAGE MATCH
HULK HOGAN (w/ Brutus Beefcake) VS. JAKE ‘THE SNAKE’ ROBERTS
The roof off the Garden practically blows off as Hulk Hogan charges down to the ring, pats Beefcake on the back and then climbs the ring steps. Hogan tears off the T-shirt and storms into the cage! The Snake attacks the Hulkster once he charges the cage, with shots to the face. Hulk fights back, biting the forehead and throwing Snake into the cage. Jake stumbles to his feet and gets the big axe bomber from Hogan! The Hulkster hits the ropes and goes for the leg drop early, but Roberts rolls out of the way! A miss! Hogan gets to his feet, but Roberts pulls him into a short-arm clothesline! Roberts as Hogan in trouble and now he begins grinding Hulk’s head into the steel cage. Hogan fights back, but a low blow from Roberts! DDT!
Jake just dropped the Hulkster with a DDT! Jake says it’s over and tries to get out of the cage. The Snake gets to the door, smiles and then turns back around. He signals for another DDT!. Roberts goes to hook Hogan again, but Hulk shoves Roberts right into the cage. Hulk goes to charge now, but Roberts dodges and Hogan collides into the cage. Jake went for several cheap shots, but Hulk Hogan shrugged them all off and leveled the Snake with a hard right hand to the forehead.
As Roberts pulled himself back up, he was flung head-first into the cage by Hogan! The Hulkster grated Jake's head against the steel, drawing blood from Snake's forehead. As blood poured down Jake's forehead, Hogan spun around and managed to connect with Roberts's own deadly hold! DDT on Jake the Snake! Hulk now hits the ropes...
THE ATOMIC LEG DROP ACROSS THE CHEST OF THE SNAKE (NOT KING KONG BUNDY)!!!
The Hulkster is calling out to the people - one more! Hogan hits the rope again - another leg drop! Jake Roberts is out cold as Hulk Hogan now climbs the cage walk, with Brutus Beefcake and the fans cheering him on. Hogan is over the top as Jake stirs, sees Hogan over the top and slumps back down. Hogan drops down to the floor! What a win for the Hulkster!
Hulk Hogan is congratulated on the floor by Brutus Beefcake as ‘Real Americans’ blares. Wait look at this - Jake Roberts is calling to Hogan! He’s putting his hand out. Jake wants to shake hands?!
Brutus 'The Barber' Beefcake is telling Hogan not to do it and the fans are shouting “NO!”, but Hogan is weighing it up. Jake the Snake drops to his knees, and puts the arm behind his back - with the right arm still outstretched. Hogan - he’s going back into the cage!
Hulk Hogan cautiously approaches, looks around at the people trying to decide what to do - and he shakes Jake’s hand! No sneak attack, nothing!
Jake Roberts shakes Hogan’s hand, and then slides out of the ropes and out of the cage! Brutus Beefcake eyes the Snake as he walks by, and then joins Hogan in the cage for a posedown to end SummerSlam!
Gorilla Monsoon: What an incredible night! Hopefully we’ll have more on this disgusting Andre situation on our programming this week. We leave you now with the Hulkster - and we’ll see you at the Survivor Series!
© 1987, WWF
Working on it now.